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I welcomed my first child just a month shy of my 22nd birthday. I’m sharing this detail not out of regret for becoming a mother young but to highlight an important point for our discussion. Just because I’ve been a mother for the majority of my adult life doesn’t mean that defines me. I am so much more than just a mom.
At times, I find it challenging to recall my life before I became a parent in July 2012. Fast forward nearly a decade, and now I have a seven-year-old, a nine-year-old, a dog, and a husband, all of whom I cherish deeply. However, it seems that they frequently overlook the fact that I am also more than just a wife and caretaker.
Having worked remotely for the past three years, this should have been my ideal scenario. But being home 25/8 often reinforces my family’s belief that my sole purpose is to cater to their needs.
“Mom, could you make my lunch for tomorrow?”
“Honey, can you grab this from the store?”
“Mom, Z is staring at me again!”
Yet, I am not just an errand runner or a referee. For instance, I’ve attempted to write, edit, and finalize this article at least six times, only to be interrupted by urgent tasks that demand my attention immediately. I’m ready to break free from that cycle.
I truly love being a mom and a wife, but I also have my own dreams and ambitions. I’m transitioning to a full-time creative career, I have three unfinished novels, and I’m in the process of launching my own business. Just because my pursuits aren’t viewed as significant by my family, unlike their Roblox gaming, doesn’t diminish their importance to me.
When my daughters and I discuss books, they are often amazed by my knowledge of series like “The Boxcar Children” and “Nancy Drew.” When I assist my fourth grader with her five-paragraph essay, she finds it impressive that I can do so as a writer myself. I recall the day she excitedly told her entire class that I was writing a novel about Catherine de’ Medici. While I appreciated her enthusiasm, I was also a bit frustrated when she questioned why it was taking me so long to finish it. Seriously, kid?
I wouldn’t trade my family for anything, but sometimes they need to be reminded that there is a life beyond their immediate wants and needs. Occasionally, I have to retreat to my office to focus on what brings me joy.
For all the mothers who are trying to strike a balance, here’s a simple truth: sometimes you have to prioritize yourself. It’s not selfish; it’s essential. When you embrace your full purpose instead of just a part, you never know who you might inspire. And when that inspiration comes from those closest to you, it’s truly magical.
I love being a mom, but I also love being myself. Sometimes, I feel my family doesn’t fully recognize the complete person I am. It’s time to introduce that person because, honestly, the best is yet to come. This is merely the beginning.
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If you’re interested in deeper discussions about fertility, consider visiting this other blog post.
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Summary:
Becoming a mother at a young age does not define my entire identity. While I cherish my family, I also have my own dreams and aspirations. Embracing my full self is essential, not selfish. I encourage fellow moms to prioritize their passions, as it can inspire those around them.