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I first broached the topic of sex with my eldest child when he was in kindergarten. I felt I was a bit late to the conversation, as someone had already shared some inaccurate information with him, including some body parts that were completely misidentified. I wanted him to learn the truth about sex from me rather than piecing it together from friends or inaccurate sources. So, I took the chance to set the record straight.
Our initial talk was brief and surprisingly comfortable for him. That experience made me realize that these conversations needed to continue as my kids grew older. After all, I remember needing accurate information as a teen more than ever.
As they’ve started dating, I make it a point to remind them about safe sex practices. They understand my views on casual, consensual relationships, largely due to a local radio station that discusses these topics openly. We tune in every morning on our way to school, and it’s the perfect opportunity for me to share my thoughts and advice.
Here’s why the sex talk isn’t just a one-time event in our household:
I Want to Normalize the Conversation About Sex
I believe that sex should not be viewed as something shameful. Avoiding the topic only creates barriers. By discussing it openly and casually, my children are more likely to approach me with any questions or concerns they might have.
I Aim to Keep the Lines of Communication Open
I never want them to feel they can’t talk to me about anything. Sure, it might be awkward for them to discuss sex with me rather than their friends, but I know far more than their peers do. Even if I’m not their first choice for a conversation, I want them to feel comfortable coming to me with anything. They need to understand that I won’t react negatively if they share their experiences.
I Want to Be Their Support System
Even if they go stretches without discussing sex with me, situations may arise with partners that leave them confused or embarrassed to share with friends for fear of gossip. I aspire to be a trusted confidant, providing a judgment-free space where they can seek guidance.
Things Have Changed Since My Teen Years
The landscape of relationships and sexuality has evolved significantly since I was a teen in the ‘80s and ‘90s. Navigating these changes can be tricky. A trustworthy adult to talk to about these matters can make all the difference.
Frequent Discussions Make It Easier for Everyone
Regular conversations about sex are like exercising a muscle; the more you do it, the easier it becomes. As the CDC suggests, “A series of discussions that begin early, happen often, and continue over time can make more of a difference than a single conversation.” The benefits of talking openly with your kids about sex are well-documented.
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Summary
In summary, discussing sex with teenagers should be a continuous conversation rather than a one-off discussion. By maintaining open lines of communication, parents can help demystify sex, promote safety, and provide a supportive environment for their children to navigate their relationships and experiences.