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From a young age, my children were given small tasks around the house. It was a practice I grew up with, so it felt only natural to teach them how to put away their dishes, place clothes in the hamper, and hang up their coats. They enjoyed their little responsibilities, and I always emphasized that, as a large family (I have three toddlers), we all needed to contribute by cleaning up after ourselves and helping with household duties.
As they matured, their responsibilities increased. My eldest took on the daily task of taking out the trash and rolling the bins to the curb every Monday. My daughter was responsible for folding the laundry, while my youngest assisted me with unloading the dishwasher until he was capable of handling it alone.
I have never given my kids an allowance for their chores. Now that they’re teenagers, they understand that household tasks don’t come with a paycheck, and here’s why:
- Skill Development
I want my kids to grow up self-sufficient. I’ve taught them how to do laundry, vacuum, mop, and care for a home. I don’t believe in paying them to pick up their rooms or handle minor tasks because these responsibilities are simply part of life. - Teamwork
We all share this home, and while I chose to have three kids, that doesn’t mean I should bear the entire burden of housework. If children believe that only one person is responsible for household chores, they may take that for granted, which can lead to resentment. We are a team, and when everyone pitches in, life becomes easier for all. - Compensation for Extra Work
I do pay them for larger tasks that exceed their regular chores. For example, if my son takes his truck to the dump for me, he gets paid. If my daughter helps me with yard work, I’ll compensate her or ask if there’s something special she wants. Recently, my youngest helped assemble new furniture, and he chose a trendy sweatsuit as a reward—everyone was satisfied. - Other Forms of Recognition
Each of my kids has a new cell phone, fully paid for. When they mention not receiving an allowance, I remind them how much those phones cost and how their chores don’t equate to that expense. I express my gratitude often, letting them know how much I value their help. I also treat them occasionally to items they like, such as beauty products for my daughter or candy for my sons. For any pricier items they desire, I’m willing to contribute, even though they all have jobs and can buy things themselves. - Avoiding Entitlement
I want them to understand the importance of responsibility. As they transition into adulthood and enter the workforce, I want them to realize that no task is beneath them. Skills like cleaning up after themselves and managing chores are essential. If they aren’t made to do these things, they may believe they don’t have to.
Should they choose to live with a partner someday, I want them to be accustomed to sharing household responsibilities. No one enjoys living with someone who shirks cleaning or refuses to help out.
Of course, my kids sometimes express that it’s unfair they don’t receive payment for their chores. However, I point out that adults don’t get paid to maintain their homes. In essence, I’m doing what all parents strive for: preparing them for the future.
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Summary:
In this article, Amelia Johnson discusses the importance of assigning chores to her children without offering payment. She believes in teaching them essential life skills, fostering teamwork, and avoiding entitlement. By not linking chores to an allowance, she prepares her children for adulthood, emphasizing that contributing to a household is a shared responsibility.