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Mental Health
In Our Home, Mental Health is a Daily Discussion
There’s no shame in showing vulnerability. by Emily Roberts
March 4, 2022
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It’s tough to admit that I’m not a supermom. It’s far easier to pretend that I have everything together at all times. But the reality is, I don’t — not even a little bit, not even occasionally. However, what would be even more challenging is watching my children face mental health struggles because we didn’t engage in open and honest discussions about it.
After several years of work, I’ve finally learned to manage my high-functioning anxiety, CPTSD, and depression. Acknowledging my challenges was just the beginning; the real challenge lies in being vulnerable enough to ask for help — and that’s a journey that never truly ends. This openness is not just crucial for my healing; it’s also my hope that consistently talking about mental health can help eliminate the stigma for my kids. My aim is to discuss mental health the same way we talk about physical health, because mental health is health.
How to Make Mental Health Conversations a Daily Habit
“Mom, do you have a headache every single day?” my son asked one night as I took one of my medications.
“No, honey. Why do you ask?” I responded.
“Because I always see you taking medicine,” he replied.
This moment prompted me to weave these important conversations into our everyday lives. Growing up, mental health simply wasn’t discussed. This wasn’t due to my parents’ negligence; it was just the norm in our community. Instead, we heard phrases like: “Grin and bear it,” or “Don’t air your dirty laundry.”
I didn’t even realize my father was managing his own anxiety and depression with medication until I reached my twenties. In retrospect, it wasn’t my business, but knowing would have influenced my own actions, possibly preventing years of silent suffering from feeling weak or overly emotional.
Now, I choose to be proactive rather than reactive. My children know I attend therapy, and they understand I take medication so I can be the best mom possible. We have open dialogues about our mental health, regardless of whether our feelings are positive or negative.
Even though my kids are still young, it’s never too early for them to recognize when they’re experiencing tough emotions. There’s immense value in being able to sit with those feelings, acknowledge them, and move forward. My oldest, now 10, once approached me asking if she could also go to therapy. When I inquired why, her response filled me with pride: “My heart just feels sad. You always seem calmer after therapy, and I want to feel that way too.” It took me decades to develop that level of self-awareness. Knowing my child feels secure enough to be vulnerable about her emotions reassures me that I must be doing something right.
Embracing Vulnerability Without Shame
I take pride in discussing the realities faced by many individuals daily. My feelings about struggling are complex: I don’t feel ashamed, yet sometimes I feel like a failure as a parent. I want to be strong, resilient, and “normal.”
But I’m not a failure. I am strong — confronting difficult conversations head-on shows real strength. And yes, I am resilient. I’ve experienced trauma and have managed to keep moving forward. While “bouncing back” might be a stretch, my challenges do not define me.
Accepting that my mental health struggles do not make me less of a person or a bad mom is one of my life’s greatest victories. Yet my most important achievement is breaking the cycle of stigma surrounding mental health issues in my children. They know they can express their feelings to me without fear of judgment. This is the first step toward treating mental health with the same seriousness we give to physical health.
To clarify, I’m not always thrilled to explain to my kids why I take medication or why I go to therapy. However, I can genuinely say I’ve never regretted it — not even for a moment.
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Summary
In our home, discussing mental health is a daily practice that fosters openness and understanding. By sharing my experiences with anxiety, CPTSD, and depression, I hope to eliminate stigma and encourage my children to express their feelings without fear. Through proactive conversations, I’ve empowered my kids to recognize their emotions and seek help when needed, breaking the cycle of silence that surrounded mental health in previous generations.