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It’s a topic many of us hesitate to discuss with our little ones, yet children face loss in their own profound ways.
I’ll always remember the day my toddler, Lily, inadvertently left her beloved stuffed animal, Mr. Fluffy, at the beach on a chilly, foggy afternoon. With his faded, fluffy fur blending seamlessly with the sand, he was overlooked amid the shells and pebbles as we packed to head home. It wasn’t until we arrived back that the reality of our mistake hit us. The tears that followed were heartbreaking; her sadness was palpable. Although I could have quickly promised her a new toy or a treat, her distress reminded me of my own childhood experiences.
At the age of 11, I lost my cherished toy, Buzzy, during a flight. Buzzy was more than just a stuffed animal; he was my confidant. I can still picture the day he mischievously devoured my cereal without permission, leaving crumbs on his face. Losing him felt like a wound that would never heal. Despite frequently moving and bidding farewell to friends, neighborhoods, and schools, nothing compared to the sorrow of parting with Buzzy. My heart ached not only for myself but also for him. I constantly worried about his well-being—was he safe? Would someone love him the way I did?
This shared experience of grief allowed me to truly connect with Lily in her moment of need. It created a nurturing environment where she could express her emotions without reservation. With patience, I guided her back to the beach, and, to our relief, we found Mr. Fluffy.
Inspired by this moment of vulnerability, I decided to write a picture book focusing on loss. Though it’s often a difficult subject to broach with children, they, too, navigate their own experiences of loss. By empathizing with them, we can help them process their feelings and find healing. This perspective on parenting is particularly meaningful to me, given my own history of frequent relocations and the losses that accompanied them.
My debut picture book, A Home Named Benny, is narrated from the viewpoint of a house. Benny, the house, feels abandoned when the family he loves moves away. His grief leads him to isolate himself until he encounters a young girl who is also grappling with her own loss. Unlike Benny, she confronts her emotions openly, allowing her to sense the house’s sorrow. My intention with this story is to encourage readers to reflect on their own experiences with loss—do we express them like the girl, or do we keep them bottled up like Benny? How do we navigate through challenging emotions? What paths lead us to healing?
Reading together is a shared experience, creating bonds between children and adults. I hope my book fosters empathy during moments of loss, whether it’s losing a Mr. Fluffy, a Buzzy, or a Benny. Ultimately, love is what helps us find our way back home.
Chelsea Lin Wallace, who moved frequently during her childhood, has lived in over a dozen homes across four states by the age of 12. While she learned to let go of many things, she held tightly to her creativity, starting to write poetry and stories at just six years old. Today, she resides in Los Angeles with her husband, daughter, and dog. For more information about Chelsea and her writing, visit her website.
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Summary:
In her poignant reflection on loss through the experience of her daughter and her own childhood memories, Chelsea Lin Wallace explores the profound impact of grief on children. This connection inspires her to create a picture book, A Home Named Benny, aimed at helping children understand and process their emotions surrounding loss. Through empathy and shared experiences, we can navigate the complexities of grief together.