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I Don’t Limit My Kid’s Screen Time. Don’t @ Me. Yes, I’m aware of the guidelines. However, I find them somewhat exaggerated.
By Jamie Collins
Updated: Feb. 20, 2024
Originally Published: April 8, 2022
Inti St Clair/Getty Images
Here we go: I don’t particularly mind how much television my four-year-old watches. While I do restrict certain types of content (the usual culprits of violence, swearing, and adult themes, along with unboxing videos and a few specific shows), I don’t impose time limits.
To be fair, my son doesn’t spend that much time in front of a screen—maybe about an hour on weekdays, divided between before and after preschool, and a bit more on weekends. Often, he doesn’t even ask to watch anything. I believe this stems from us never treating TV as forbidden fruit. Conventional wisdom suggests that if you restrict something, your child will desire it intensely. Generally, he watches a bit and then asks to go outside for a bike ride, works on an art project, or just finds something else to do. His attachment to screens is loose, at least for now. If that changes, we can reassess—but I prefer to maintain a relaxed approach.
Even when he is watching, he’s not just mindlessly staring. He glances up now and then to check the color of Goofy’s hat while finishing his drawing. He dashes to his shelf for a book about sea creatures after Captain Barnacle from The Octonauts mentions cuttlefish. He asks questions about particles and light waves after watching Ask the StoryBots explain why the sky is blue. For him, “watching” is more about engaging and exploring, which expands his mind rather than dulls it. Even during the quality Mickey Mouse shorts, he’s curious about a character’s emotions or what a strange object is (like a tollbooth or roller-skates). The fundamental goal of parenting is to teach our kids about the world and how to navigate it. Why can’t the glowing screen in our living room, filled with information, play a role in that process?
Most anxious parents can quote the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) guidelines by heart: no screen time for children under two, and a maximum of one hour a day for older kids. I believe in science. I’m not the type who bases decisions on Facebook “research.” The studies concerning screens and toddlers are both insightful and significant. Toddlers often struggle to learn from screens because they don’t view what they watch as connected to the real world. In one study, toddlers shown a video of a toy being hidden in a room next door failed to find it once led into the actual room. When the TV was disguised as a window, they easily located the toy. To young children, TV is fake, while a window represents reality.
If toddlers interpret screens this way, it’s unlikely they’ll become geniuses from watching Baby Einstein; it’s reasonable to conclude that every hour spent watching could be an hour of lost enrichment. Yet, I don’t see why occasional screen time is detrimental for under-twos, nor do I believe it’s a serious disservice to them. Research shows that co-viewing with an adult who helps them interpret content can enhance a child’s ability to learn from what they watch. This doesn’t only apply to educational media. While watching Finding Nemo, for instance, a parent can point out Marlon’s sad expression and say, “He looks sad,” or highlight the vastness of the ocean in wide shots. That’s learning, too. And when my son saw the Atlantic for the first time at age two, he exclaimed, “Whoa, big ocean!”
The current hysteria surrounding screen time feels like just another moral panic. In the ’80s, it was mothers “abandoning” children for work; in the ’90s, it was kids playing violent video games; today, it’s the belief that we’re damaging our children by allowing them to watch Zootopia. Isn’t it fascinating how parents are always perceived as doing something wrong? If your 18-month-old watches a movie to ease a flight, you’re not headed for parent jail. If your 23-month-old enjoys the soothing sounds of David Attenborough’s Planet Earth II while you get ready for work, you’re doing fine.
For the record, I find the reasoning that “I watched a lot of TV as a kid and turned out fine” unconvincing. We should strive to improve our parenting compared to previous generations, learning from their mistakes. I’d argue that television fosters my child’s curiosity and knowledge, rather than hindering it. I approach screen time much like I do intuitive eating. If your child understands that food isn’t something to be anxious about—something scarce or criminalized—they learn to make reasonable choices without undue pressure. They develop moderation organically, which can’t be forced upon them; it requires space to explore.
If the AAP screen time guidelines feel right for you, great. If your child struggles to detach from screens and needs boundaries, that’s also perfectly fine—you know your child best. And that’s the key point. Every parent should do what feels best for their kids, short of allowing dangerous behaviors. For me, that means focusing on real issues in my son’s life, like the kid at school who told him that blue is for boys and pink is for girls (thanks a lot, Lucas), or his food allergies (try explaining to a four-year-old that he’s the only kid who can’t have a donut hole). Parenting is already challenging enough—why add something that has positively impacted my child’s life to my worry list? I’d much rather snuggle with him and discover together about mudskippers, how the human ear works, and what Saturn’s rings are made of—enjoying the peace that comes from not treating every aspect of parenting as if it’s a life-or-death situation.
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In summary, I believe that a relaxed approach to screen time encourages curiosity and learning in my child. By not imposing strict limits, I allow him the space to explore and engage with the world around him, fostering a healthy balance without unnecessary worry.