Navigating Those Frustrating Moments
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“I’m about to throw this iPad out the window!” These were the words I shrieked one ordinary Monday evening, loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Ironically, I’m a therapist who helps others manage their emotions, yet at that moment, I was so overwhelmed I hardly recognized myself.
Before you judge my qualifications, let me set the scene. It was close to 6 PM—need I say more? We all know the chaos that comes with the post-dinner, pre-bedtime witching hour. My partner was working late, leaving me solo with our three kids, all of whom were worn out from a busy weekend. My youngest was in full meltdown mode over a “gross” dinner, and I was feeling burnt out after a long day of work, trying to juggle everything except my own needs.
My daughters, ages 6 and 7, always seem to oscillate between being the best of friends and the worst of enemies. On that particular night, their argument over the iPad reached a fever pitch. When one of them let out a blood-curdling scream, I felt a surge of adrenaline and cortisol rush through me. I exploded. My youngest ran crying into another room, while my oldest looked at me with wide eyes, asking, “Mommy?” It was a moment where I realized I wasn’t the only one shocked by my own reaction.
As someone who rarely gets angry, the emotional rollercoaster of motherhood is something I still struggle to navigate. Thankfully, I’ve learned how to apologize, especially after the intense years of pandemic parenting. I acknowledged my outburst, the kids forgave me, and we moved on.
Here’s the reality: no matter how prepared we may think we are for parenting, or how much we know about child development and emotional regulation, we are all human and imperfect. No one is immune to the challenges of raising kids—not even the therapist or the mom on Instagram who seems to have it all together. We live in a world filled with uncertainty and constant distractions, often within systems that don’t support parents, especially mothers. Moms frequently feel overwhelmed, underappreciated, and exhausted.
Yet, we are also incredibly resilient and capable of handling a lot. Motherhood teaches us to hold both joy and struggle simultaneously. We can adore our children and still feel the weight of their endless demands. We can be thankful for our roles and still crave personal time. We can make mistakes, repair the damage, and still feel worthy. Fortunately, life always gives us another chance to improve. Acknowledging our imperfections allows us to grow alongside our children.
Affirmations to Help You When You Feel Like You’re About to Blow Up
“Deep breaths are a mom’s best friend.”
The next time chaos erupts, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Though it may sound cliché, taking deep breaths can interrupt the automatic response of your nervous system. Inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for 6 seconds. Just a few deep breaths can prevent you from turning into a “momster” and help you regain your composure.
“It’s okay to feel how I feel.”
All feelings are valid, and everyone has moments of overwhelm. After calming down, remind yourself that it’s completely natural to feel frustrated when your child screams over something trivial.
“I will not neglect my own needs.”
When we consistently prioritize others above ourselves, we open ourselves up to burnout. Just as you wouldn’t expect a car to run without a charged battery, you can’t give what you don’t have. Reflect on the moments you’ve lost control; they often stem from feeling depleted. As challenging as it is to take time for yourself, it’s crucial to reconnect with your identity beyond being a mom. Explore what sparks your interest and curiosity. While we can’t eliminate the burdens of motherhood, we can shift our perspective, ensuring that we don’t lose ourselves in the process.
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In summary, motherhood is filled with ups and downs. Recognizing our emotions and understanding that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed helps us navigate the chaotic moments. By practicing self-care and acknowledging our needs, we can manage stress better and create a healthier environment for both ourselves and our children.