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Menu: Cleaning is Fun
Is It Really This Easy to Get My Kids to Help with Chores?
It turns out that incorporating an element of fun can genuinely make a difference. By Jamie Taylor, April 15, 2022
As I surveyed my living room while tackling my third round of dishwashing for the day, I noticed my four kids—some engrossed in their iPads, others playfully crawling on the floor like the snakes they’d seen at the zoo. This scene didn’t align with the family dynamic I envisioned when we decided to have four kids under the age of 7. Instead of being a cohesive team, I felt more like a maid. So, I grabbed a large piece of poster board and a marker, determined to change the narrative. Surprisingly, months later, it’s still working.
With a background in education and a spouse who works in school administration, we had plenty of insights on what motivates children, but we hadn’t applied that knowledge in a structured way. We decided to create a chore chart, but with a twist inspired by our classroom experiences. I used to dismiss other parents who claimed their kids eagerly helped out with chores, but now I can attest to that truth. Here’s what worked for us, and why.
Empower the Kids in the Process
As I sat in front of the blank poster board, I felt the urge to create the chart myself, but I held back. I’ve seen firsthand how kids tune out when adults dictate processes. Instead, I presented the issue—explaining how many dishes I had washed that day (I exaggerated to 50, though it felt like more) and expressed my fatigue. Then, I asked them, “What can we do about this?” They eagerly jumped in, brainstorming the chores that needed to be done.
Add Humor and Roleplay
The tasks they suggested were inspired by their favorite shows, songs, and books, so we named each role and outlined the responsibilities. Before I knew it, they had assigned themselves as the “butler” (setting the table and serving), the “cleaner” (washing dishes), and the “sweeper” (picking up items and vacuuming). Parenting psychologist, Dr. Sarah Adams, explains that this approach works because it transforms chores into a playful activity. “When kids aren’t just cleaning up but embodying roles, it feels less like work and more like play,” she notes. Adding a race element or playing lively music can heighten the fun.
She also emphasizes that having clear expectations benefits everyone involved and that it’s essential to teach the kids step-by-step how to complete their tasks. You might think your kids know how to do something, only to find out they’re not familiar with what a dishwasher is. So we started from the basics.
Ditch the Strict Timelines
Having a 3, 5, and 7-year-old tackle chores means that cleaning the kitchen post-meal takes significantly longer. However, it also gives adults time to enjoy a (second) glass of wine, change laundry, prep lunches, or even have a chat. Dr. Adams suggests that taking your time can create opportunities for imaginative play, boost motivation, and encourage sibling bonding.
Offer Choices Without Asking for Permission
When we filled out our chore chart, the kids got to choose their roles, ensuring the distribution was relatively equal. They signed their quirky initials in the boxes, making it their commitment rather than mine. No longer was I the “bad guy.” Dr. Adams advises against asking children if they want to do something, suggesting instead that parents kindly and firmly request it while offering choices in how it’s executed. “Kids thrive when they feel a sense of control,” she says. “This leads to greater engagement and accountability.” The chore chart fostered a team dynamic where kids no longer blamed the “coach” for everything; they began collaborating and checking the chart to see who the butler was!
Ultimately, Dr. Adams recommends acknowledging what children accomplish and helping them take pride in their work. “Teaching them the joy of completing tasks is vital. When we celebrate their efforts, they feel proud of what they’ve achieved.” Thanks to this approach, I’ve found myself less exhausted.