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Community
By Jamie Lane
April 25, 2023
A few years ago, a friend in San Francisco mentioned, “I just picked up a Pack-and-Play from my Buy Nothing Group.” At that time, these groups hadn’t reached my part of the Midwest, so I had to do some digging. I never anticipated how significant these groups would become in my life.
Founded in 2013, the Buy Nothing Project aims to create spaces for giving and trading without the exchange of money. Primarily organized through Facebook groups, these communities thrive on communication and a sense of freedom. When you offer something, you’re not obligated to give it to the first person who responds. You can also ask for items you need. These groups are hyper-local (my own focuses on a specific zip code), fostering connections within the immediate community.
When our first local Buy Nothing Group emerged on Facebook, I was taken aback by my growing attachment to it. It was predominantly made up of mothers, and the items shared were always intriguing: baby bottle drying racks, plantar fasciitis splints, rows of play shoes, and weathered little red wagons. I once received a bag of surplus onions from a grocery mix-up and whipped up a delicious French onion soup that evening—after chatting with the giver about her son’s ESL courses and my daughter’s obsession with unicorns. Some items were small (like a Ziplock full of unused stickers) and others quite large (like bunk beds), all given with the hope they would find new life in another home.
I gifted several board books to a newly expecting mother who later shared a proud photo of her nursery. This fall, I made reusable fabric snack bags to give away before school started, and one of the recipients turned out to be a classmate of my daughter. One time, I gifted a large print of a seagull soaring over the ocean from one of my favorite trips to Charleston. When I asked group members to share their favorite beach memories to receive the print, I was overwhelmed with stories of honeymoons and family vacations. The chosen recipient later told me that the artwork would hang in her aging parents’ newly downsized home, serving as a reminder of the travels they still hope to undertake. In return, she left a surprise package of brownies on my doorstep.
I’ve also received numerous items through my Buy Nothing Group. There’s the old electronic jump rope that kept us entertained during long winters and the matching ceramic fox mugs my daughter loves for her hot chocolate. One member even dropped off a playhouse that quickly became one of my daughter’s favorite spots for imaginative play. During the pandemic, I picked up cookies from a local baker who had made too many batches of tulip-shaped snickerdoodles for an event. While her kids played in the yard, community members streamed in to grab beautifully wrapped cookies for their families—this small interaction made us feel a little more connected in uncertain times.
Sometimes, I encounter another parent who smiles and says, “Oh, yes—you gave us those dot markers that my son uses every day.” We remember each other’s names and keep details about one another’s lives close to our hearts. I once posted an ISO (in search of) for Descendants decorations for my daughter’s birthday party. While no one had any, a few days later, someone tagged me in a post with a red Descendants sweatshirt. “Didn’t you say your daughter liked Descendants?” That shirt has since become one of her favorite items in her closet.
Among the most poignant posts are those sharing loss. Occasionally, someone would post an offer of unused dog food or a heat lamp for a chameleon, grieving pets that had passed away while hoping to help another member. These posts are often met with an outpouring of sympathy. New mothers sometimes request sleepsuits, while others share their newborn sleep tips. And mothers with older children would list items like truck-printed bedsheets with a sigh, “I guess we don’t need these anymore.”
What sets a Buy Nothing Group apart from platforms like Facebook Marketplace is the request for all members to keep their posts active even after the exchange. This makes the group a living record of how we’ve supported one another over the years. As I scroll through past posts, I see countless items that have changed hands. I envision children enjoying toys that others once cherished, only to pass them along again. It represents a new form of inheritance—not confined to a single family, but shared throughout a community.
The internet can often be a harsh place, but being part of a Buy Nothing Group reminds me that, in addition to the physical items that make life a bit easier, we all have something to offer—whether it’s a tangible gift or words of comfort. As parents, we need each other’s support, and sometimes, we find it in the most unexpected ways.
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Search Queries:
- Buy Nothing Project
- Local community support groups
- Parenting exchange networks
- Sharing economy in communities
- Benefits of gift economy
Summary:
The Buy Nothing Group has become an invaluable support network for parents, providing a platform to share and exchange items without the pressure of financial transactions. Through community interactions, members forge connections, share stories, and provide emotional support during both joyful and challenging times. This initiative underscores the importance of community bonds and the beauty of giving and receiving within a network of caring individuals.