I Wasn’t Prepared to Care for My Parent: A Journey of Unexpected Strength

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While on a family road trip to the Grand Canyon, I received shocking news from my sister: my father had suffered a stroke. I tried to conceal my tears from my children outside a gas station in Oklahoma, but it was nearly impossible to hide my anguish. Slumped in the car, I realized how comfortable I had become in my role as a mother, often forgetting that I was also a daughter in need of care and support. I was so wrapped up in my own family that I had let calls and messages from my dad go unanswered.

As we drove past fields and tumbleweeds, I grappled with whether to continue our journey or rush home. Suddenly, my cell reception dropped, and all I could do was wait for updates. When one finally came through, the message was bleak: “It’s not good, Emily. I’m leaving now to drive there.” Feeling trapped, I stared out the window for hours, reflecting on how the pandemic had kept me from spending quality time with my dad.

I ultimately decided to skip the Grand Canyon and head to the nearest airport in Albuquerque. I felt crushed as I walked into the hotel room, but deep down, I sensed it might be my last opportunity to say goodbye to my father.

As I prepared to visit him in the hospital, an overwhelming sense of childhood feelings washed over me. I was consumed by sadness and anger, mentally noting all the things my father could no longer do. Would he even remember me? My hope for a future with him felt dim. But as I entered the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), something shifted. I shed my fears and insecurities, stepping into a maternal role that felt instinctive.

When I reached my dad’s bedside, I saw recognition in his eyes, and we both cried. Although I was unprepared to care for him, I found strength in my motherhood experience. I spent time with him as he fought through therapy to regain the ability to walk, eat, and speak. Each small victory felt monumental; the first time he said “Hi!” during a FaceTime call echoed the joy of a mother witnessing her child’s first words.

Supporting my dad during this challenging time was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I wasn’t ready to take on the responsibility of caring for him, but my journey as a mother equipped me with the necessary skills. I had momentarily forgotten that even as a mother, I still remained a child, and that our roles can beautifully intertwine during life’s most unexpected challenges.