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Navigating the Haircare Madness
By Jessica Lane
Updated: Feb. 20, 2024
Originally Published: April 28, 2022
Another day, another shower, and another 20 minutes spent tackling my two daughters’ unique hair. If you’re a mom of tweens, you understand the struggle: they’re becoming more independent and their bodies are changing, yet they still need our help—even if they don’t want it. In my house, this leads to pure chaos.
One daughter hops out of the shower, only for me to send her back in because there’s still product lingering in her hair. No matter how much dry shampoo I apply or how little conditioner I use, she always seems to have a greasy shine. I can’t even count how many times I’ve tried to explain that over-washing can be just as harmful as not washing, but my words fall on deaf ears. Every shower, we repeat this process. But honestly, she’s the easier one of the two.
Her sister, however, is a different story. No matter how gently I cleanse her scalp or how much conditioning and detangling product I apply, combing and drying her hair turns into a wrestling match every time. It always appears as if she’s just been through a car wash, strapped onto the roof. Her hair is tangled and knotted, and I honestly can’t comprehend why or how it happens.
Dealing with each daughter’s hair (and their feelings about it) is already a challenge, but I’m managing two completely different hair types: one has thick, full hair prone to dandruff, while the other has fine, wavy hair that tangles easily. So, what’s a mom to do? Here’s what has worked for me (at least enough to get us out the door).
The Essentials
We all know the basics of regular shampooing and conditioning, but it’s important to remember that one size doesn’t fit all. I could use the same products on my kids that I do on myself, but our hair has different needs.
I’ve colored and highlighted my hair for years, and I often use flat irons and curlers (when I feel fancy). While my shampoo and conditioner might technically work for my children, they won’t provide the healthiest results for their hair and scalp.
“One thing I really wish parents understood about their tweens (and teens) is the correct quantities of products to use. Many kids come in with buildup from using too much product or not rinsing properly,” says stylist Ava T.
Must-Have Products
While some of these may seem obvious, it’s essential to ensure you have all your bases covered to avoid haircare frustration.
- Shampoo: While your kids probably don’t need the same heavy-duty hydrating and strengthening shampoos you use, it’s still crucial to check the labels. Cleaner ingredients are generally better for hair and scalp health. Ava reminds us, “Washing hair is VERY important. There has been a surge in the anti-shampoo movement, but using a quality shampoo and thoroughly scrubbing the scalp is vital for overall health!”
- Conditioners: Who doesn’t love silky smooth hair? Everyone does, but if the right amount of conditioner isn’t applied in the right places, that magical effect won’t happen. It’s important to note that you don’t need to slather conditioner from roots to ends. Given the hormonal changes your tween is experiencing, adding more hydration to the roots will likely result in greasy hair by 2 PM.
- Detanglers and Wet Brushes: My daughter with fine, wavy hair has had countless meltdowns when it comes to brushing out knots after a shower. Using a detangler and a wet brush has been a lifesaver for both of us. Detangler is self-explanatory; a wet brush helps comb through hair without pulling and has flexible bristles that are gentle on wet hair.
- Scrub Brushes: This little tool has been a game changer since my tweens started washing their own hair. It’s simply a small plastic scrubber with flexible bristles that your child can use in the shower to stimulate their scalp while ensuring all the shampoo is rinsed out. “If parents feel like their kid’s hair isn’t getting clean enough, a scrubber can help. It also aids in reducing forehead pimples often caused by excessive oil,” Ava adds.
While this isn’t a comprehensive list, these essentials have made a significant difference for my tweens. As they grow more independent, ensuring they know how to care for their hair is an underrated milestone. Take it from someone who has put her hair through a lot over the years: empowering your tweens to manage their haircare is an important step. After all, hair can be a powerful means of self-expression and, let’s face it, lots of fun!
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Search Queries:
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In summary, guiding your children in haircare is crucial as they transition into their independence. Equip them with the knowledge and tools they need for healthy hair, and both you and your kids will benefit.