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Crucial Conversations
By Jessica Harmon
I’ve always been candid about various topics with my children. So when the time comes, I won’t shy away from discussing my abortion.
I remember the day my daughter, a toddler at the time, was playing in the bath with her baby brother. She looked at him and innocently asked, “Why does he have a tail? His front butt doesn’t look like mine.” I got her permission to share this story, and both kids still find it amusing.
Reflecting back, I realize how little I had taught her about body parts, consent, and reproduction. I’ve worked hard to improve this, but now “It’s MY body!” has become a clever way to dodge chores or hygiene tasks.
However, there’s one topic I haven’t addressed yet: abortion. Despite my personal experience and my strong advocacy for reproductive rights, I haven’t yet talked to my kids about it. Given the current threats to abortion access across the nation, this feels increasingly urgent. The Supreme Court is likely to overturn Roe v. Wade, impacting their futures.
As I watch my 9-month-old sleep, I can’t help but feel grateful for my abortion from years ago. It’s worth noting that six in ten women who have abortions are already mothers, with many having multiple children.
When I announced my pregnancy to my older kids, they had plenty of questions. We explored a book called It’s So Amazing! by Robie H. Harris, which discusses everything from puberty to pregnancy. While my kids showed great interest, the brief mention of abortion made me realize I hadn’t included it in our discussions.
Eager to find guidance, I researched and discovered What’s An Abortion Anyway?, a resource that provides a non-judgmental, medically accurate overview of abortion for young people. Author Carly Manes explained that the right time to introduce the topic is when kids begin asking questions or when it naturally arises in conversation.
I also consulted sexual health educator, Anne Parker, who pointed out the likelihood that my children may encounter abortion in their lives. One in four women will have an abortion by age 45, making it crucial to discuss this openly. Addressing abortion in a factual and neutral manner can prevent the stigma often attached to it and help cultivate empathy in my children.
Since my kids are under ten, I want to ensure I approach this topic without overwhelming them. Manes describes her book as a way to create space for deeper conversations when the time is right. I felt a wave of relief—there’s still time to prepare.
When considering when to share my own experience, Parker advised waiting until they are teenagers and emphasized the importance of using accurate language. Children are impressionable and can easily misinterpret the propaganda associated with abortion.
A critical aspect of these discussions revolves around respect and trust. Tabitha Lane, a parenting educator, emphasized the importance of fostering an open, trusting relationship with our children. If these conversations have been avoided in the past, it’s essential to ask questions and understand what they may have already learned from peers or media.
I plan to keep Manes’ book as a resource for future discussions. It’s essential for children to understand that everyone deserves the right to make choices about their own bodies, regardless of personal opinions about abortion.
Years after my own experience, I was overjoyed to see a positive pregnancy test. Every individual deserves the fundamental right to determine what’s best for themselves and their families. I now feel equipped to guide my children in understanding these principles I hold dear.
As the Supreme Court moves to restrict Roe, I feel confident that, when the time is right, my children will have the knowledge to navigate the complexities surrounding abortion as a human rights issue. These discussions can help us develop a deeper connection with them, fostering caring and engaged citizens. Lane noted the power older children hold to advocate among their peers, making it even more crucial to educate them on reproductive health.
Recently, during a neighborhood stroll, my daughter asked a question that made me wonder if she was ready for this conversation. Before I could ponder further, she returned to humming a catchy tune. The good news? I no longer worry about being prepared; I know that when they are ready, I will be too.
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Summary
In this article, Jessica Harmon discusses her decision to openly share her abortion experience with her children. She reflects on her journey as a mother, the importance of honest conversations about reproductive health, and the need for a trusting relationship with her kids. Harmon emphasizes that understanding abortion as a human rights issue is crucial, especially in light of ongoing threats to reproductive rights. By addressing this topic with care, she aims to equip her children to navigate the complexities ahead.