A Guide to ‘Promposals’ for New Parents: Understanding Today’s Trends

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As a new parent, you might find yourself puzzled by the latest social media craze surrounding promposals. I certainly was when my eldest son shared a story from school about a classmate who crafted an elaborate metal sign to ask someone to prom. He described how the student discreetly carried it to his locker and later revealed it at lunch with the words, “Will you go to prom with me?”

If you’ve got teens or have seen similar videos online, you’re likely aware of this trend. Gone are the days when a simple, private invitation sufficed. Now, there’s an expectation to go all out, outshine peers, and document the entire process for social media. I’ve spoken with other parents who also feel this has become an obligatory part of prom season.

It was clear my son wasn’t thrilled about the extravagant promposal trend. I cautiously asked for his thoughts. “I think it’s really dumb,” he replied. “Why not just ask privately? It all feels like a show. Am I going to have to do that?” I assured him he absolutely did not need to participate in the spectacle. I share his view: whether in a relationship or not, asking someone to prom doesn’t need to be a grand performance if it doesn’t feel right. There’s already enough pressure on teens to appear like they have everything together without the added expectation of a costly and extravagant promposal.

If my child wanted to go all out for a promposal, like creating a sign or proposing with a grand gesture, I would support that. But the reality is my kids prefer to keep things low-key, asking someone in private without an audience. They’re not interested in spending a fortune on a promposal when the prom night itself is already a financial burden. Between the costs of dresses, suits, hair, makeup, dinners, and tickets, the expenses quickly add up.

A friend of mine has a daughter who has been dating her boyfriend for two years. When asked about their prom plans, she mentioned she wasn’t sure if they were going together. Surprisingly, it was because he hadn’t asked her “the right way.” Apparently, she wanted him to paint the promposal on his car and drive it slowly past her lacrosse practice. While he genuinely wanted to attend prom with her, he wasn’t keen on such grand gestures, which left their plans in limbo.

This promposal trend seems to be about impressing others rather than the individuals involved, stripping away the personal touch of asking someone to prom. My kids are not interested in these displays, and I’m relieved. I won’t pressure them into participating just because it’s a popular trend. Even if they did want to engage in a big promposal, I wouldn’t go to extremes to ensure it was flawless. I’ve noticed other parents spend significant money on flowers and elaborate setups, but I’m not on board with that. My own prom experience was simple—I asked a friend in passing, and we had a great time without any extravagant displays.

While some teens may want grand gestures to make their prom experience memorable, many feel uncomfortable with the pressure that comes with it. It’s essential to remind our kids that the prom experience is what truly matters, not how many likes or shares they can get on social media.

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Summary

Promposals have evolved into elaborate social media events that put pressure on teens to perform. While some embrace the trend, many prefer simple, private invitations. It’s crucial to focus on the experience rather than the spectacle.

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