Is Your Child Acting Out? Here Are the Warning Signs, According to a Child Psychologist

Uh Oh! Could Your Child Be a Little Brat? Here’s What to Look For and How to Address It

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As parents, we all strive to nurture compassionate, kind children, with politeness as an added bonus. Yet sometimes, despite our best intentions, our little ones can exhibit bratty behaviors that leave us questioning where we went wrong. But before you spiral into panic, envisioning your once-adorable child as a menace to everyone around them, take a breath. Child psychologist Dr. Emily Parker reassures us that all kids can act out occasionally. However, there are specific indicators that might suggest you have a persistent brat on your hands.

Don’t worry too much, as Dr. Parker emphasizes that many of these behaviors can be corrected with love and patience. “Temporary, uncooperative behavior, especially when it responds to guidance from adults, can be quite common,” she explains. “Testing limits and showing emotional dysregulation is a normal part of child development.” If your child’s bratty episodes are mixed in with mostly sweet and well-behaved moments, you likely have nothing to stress about.

Signs Your Child May Be Acting Bratty

While occasional misbehavior is typical, Dr. Parker identifies some critical signs that could indicate a deeper issue. “When uncooperative behavior is consistent across different environments and relationships, remains unresponsive to adult intervention, and negatively impacts social or academic functioning, it may be time to seek professional help,” she warns. For example, if your child frequently misbehaves with specific people—like teachers or family members—and it doesn’t improve over time or with your intervention, there may be underlying issues to explore.

Intense and prolonged emotional dysregulation can also signal a more serious behavioral concern. “If your child experiences frequent, intense tantrums and struggles to calm down, or if their behavior turns aggressive towards others, it’s a red flag and might warrant consultation with a specialist,” Dr. Parker states.

How to Address Bratty Behavior

Before reaching out for professional help, it’s worthwhile to reflect on your own behavior as a parent. “Modeling cooperative and respectful behavior is crucial,” Dr. Parker suggests. “Demonstrating polite interactions and acknowledging your child’s good behavior with praise can go a long way.”

If you choose to address the behavior directly with your child, keep your messages brief and straightforward. “Ensure your expectations are age-appropriate and give clear, neutral feedback when your child is acting out,” she advises. Avoid lengthy discussions filled with emotion, especially when you’re feeling frustrated.

Recognizing When Behavior Becomes Problematic

It’s important to differentiate between typical bratty behavior and more serious issues. Minor tantrums can often be ignored, but physical aggression should be tackled immediately. Dr. Parker recommends addressing dangerous behavior promptly by labeling it in a non-judgmental manner and guiding your child towards better choices. Try offering two options or using “when-then” statements to help them understand the path forward, such as “When you use your inside voice, then we can talk about what’s bothering you.”

Regular check-ins with your child when they’re calm can also be beneficial. “Encourage them to articulate their feelings and expectations after a tantrum. This is a great opportunity to engage them in problem-solving and validate their emotions,” Dr. Parker adds.

By allowing your child to experiment with these strategies in future situations and report back to you, you’re fostering a sense of curiosity and understanding about their behavior, which can significantly reduce future outbursts.

Expert Sources

Dr. Emily Parker, a child psychologist based in Los Angeles.

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Summary

It’s normal for children to exhibit bratty behavior from time to time, but if these signs become persistent, it may indicate a deeper issue. Parents should model cooperative behavior, set clear expectations, and address problematic actions promptly. Regular communication about feelings and expectations can help guide children towards better behavior patterns.