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Understanding my neurodivergent identity has been a profound gift. It has empowered me to advocate for myself effectively, and I believe every neurodivergent child deserves this clarity.
For much of my life, I was unaware of my autistic identity. There was a persistent feeling that I was different, but I learned to suppress it and navigate a world tailored for neurotypical individuals. I sought validation externally, neglecting the insights within myself.
I don’t hold my family accountable for not pursuing a diagnosis sooner; the dialogue around autism has evolved significantly over recent years. We now recognize that autism signifies a different neurological makeup, not a disorder. Autism is simply a part of who I am. Yes, I perceive and engage with the world uniquely. I may sometimes appear “quirky” or face challenges, but I will always be autistic.
For years, several autistic friends had hinted at my identity, often saying, “Jamie, you know you’re autistic, right?” Initially, I brushed off these comments. While I recognized traits of neurodivergence within myself, I hesitated to label myself as autistic. As a speech and language pathologist working with children on the autism spectrum, I thought my understanding of autism was comprehensive enough that I couldn’t possibly be autistic myself. My friends encouraged me to consider that my success with autistic children and my authorship of a series about an autistic crow might stem from my own neurodivergence.
Indeed, I struggled to read social cues and often found solace in repetitive behaviors, like picking at my skin or obsessively counting the ballerina bears on my childhood bedroom wallpaper. My quest for understanding my environment often led me to mimic the behaviors of my peers for a sense of belonging. Despite these realizations, I still sought further evidence before fully embracing my identity as an autistic woman.
After facing challenges with infertility and undergoing extensive genetic testing, I discovered I had a mild form of a connective tissue disorder associated with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS). This condition, along with my heightened emotional sensitivity, is commonly linked to autism in women. Upon recognizing this connection, I exclaimed, “I AM autistic!” The liberation I felt was profound. I transitioned from a muted acknowledgment of my differences to a proud declaration of my identity.
Understanding my neurodivergence has equipped me to advocate for myself more effectively. The anxiety I felt as a child stemmed from a recognition of my differences, which I believed were flaws to be concealed. If I had known about being on the autism spectrum earlier in life, I could have celebrated my uniqueness and encouraged my peers to accept me as I am. When we confidently embrace our identities, others respond positively, often fostering an environment of acceptance. Yes, questions may arise, but they pave the way for greater understanding and normalization of autism. Therefore, I urge parents to inform their children about their autistic identities as soon as appropriate.
Imagine if someone had explained to me that my brain, while different, functioned just as any other brain does, shaping my interactions with the world. This understanding could have brought me peace much earlier. Today, I engage with the children and teens I work with by emphasizing the importance of recognizing their neurodivergent identities. We don’t need to conform to external expectations; if we aren’t informed about our identities, we risk allowing the world to define us. That’s exhausting and counterproductive. The gift of self-awareness is truly liberating.
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In conclusion, recognizing my neurodivergent identity has not only been a personal revelation but also a vital part of advocating for myself and others. It’s essential to foster environments where individuals can embrace their unique identities without shame or confusion.