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Last night, I watched my three kids on the front porch, chatting and laughing together. Our two ducks were peacefully napping beneath the hydrangea bush, while my youngest stepped outside to capture some photos. When he called for his sister to see their cherished pets, his older brother joined them as well. They ended up sitting there for quite a while, reminiscing about their childhood. I was comfortably settled on the sofa, hearing their every word through the open window, with the soothing sound of crickets and a gentle breeze. I closed my eyes, feeling incredibly grateful for this moment.
Despite battling the temptation to join them (more than once), a voice in my head urged me to stay put and let them enjoy their evening together. With my children now teenagers, I often find myself wondering if I should be soaking up every second with them. Was I being lazy for simply eavesdropping instead of joining in?
No, I wasn’t. Over the years, I’ve learned that sometimes the best way to savor my kids’ happiness is to let them bond without me. There were countless occasions when they were younger where I would see them playing so beautifully together that it brought tears to my eyes. Yet, whenever I would intrude—be it to take a photo or share my thoughts—I’d unintentionally disrupt their magic, making me question why I couldn’t just let them be.
By giving them the space to create their own memories, I’ve noticed it strengthens their relationship. If they wanted me to join the fun, they’d invite me out. I’ve had to accept that they can forge memories without my presence. As a divorced parent, they spend part of their time with their father, which can be tough when I hear them excitedly recounting weekends spent at the lake or vacations to Florida with him and his girlfriend. Their childhood experiences are theirs to cherish, and I don’t have to be part of every moment. It may feel unnatural at times, especially during family trips, but I realize I shouldn’t project my feelings onto them.
Reflecting on my own childhood, my fondest memories involve my sisters. We spent countless hours playing on a tire swing, pretending to cook with plants from our yard, and binging on soap operas during summer days while our parents worked. As teenagers, we’d order pizza and lounge in front of MTV, then head out for Chinese food and shopping when we got our licenses. Those experiences are deeply precious to me, and I hope my kids can create similar memories.
There will come a time when I’m no longer around, and what matters most to me is that my children maintain their bond. I want them to continue gathering together for family events and holidays, even in my absence.
Witnessing their connection has been one of the greatest gifts I could ask for. While it can be difficult to refrain from joining their conversations, lying on the sofa and listening to the joyful sounds of my children bonding is truly the best feeling in the world.
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