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Was It My Fault?
In recent weeks, I have been following the media coverage surrounding a tragic incident in Steubenville, where a young girl was raped. The focus has often been on the boys involved—individuals who have committed a heinous act—while they are portrayed as ‘promising’ youths whose future has been tarnished. Meanwhile, the victim has faced unjust criticism for being intoxicated that night. It is heartbreaking to acknowledge that no one intervened to protect her; instead, bystanders laughed, took pictures, and even harassed her further while defending the perpetrators. We must recognize that the blame placed on victims is unacceptable. We can strive for a better society for our children, neighbors, friends, and even strangers. Above all, it is crucial to remember: rape is a crime, and it is never the fault of the victim.
As a parent of three daughters, I am filled with concern. I want my children to make wise decisions, but I also yearn for them to grow up in a community that actively looks out for one another. I hope they will be the ones to help a friend or even a stranger in need. Regardless of the choices they make or the situations they encounter—whether at parties or social gatherings—no one has the right to violate their autonomy. It is not their fault, and it will never be their fault.
Reflecting on my own past, I remember being 17, a cheerleader in a small town, and dating popular boys. I often found myself in situations where I drank too much at parties. I thought these boys cared for me, but their intentions were not genuine. I was labeled as “the drunk girl” with a particular reputation, which further muddied my experiences.
One night, while intoxicated, I was with someone I believed to be my boyfriend. After he excused himself to use the restroom, he returned and, to my horror, I realized he was not the person I thought he was. I screamed and struggled, but he overpowered me. This boy, along with others, not only assaulted me but also left me feeling isolated and terrified. For years, I internalized the blame, believing it was my fault for being drunk or for my choices, but it took me nearly three decades to understand that it was never my fault. The laughter of those boys still haunts me, but I now recognize their actions for what they truly were: a crime.
In light of these experiences, it is vital to foster an environment where we support and protect one another, especially in vulnerable situations. Knowledge and awareness are crucial tools in combatting such atrocities. For more information on family-building options and home insemination, visit this excellent resource: Resolve.org.
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In summary, it is essential to remember that no matter the circumstances, the responsibility for sexual violence lies solely with the perpetrators. We must advocate for a culture of respect and support, ensuring that victims are not blamed for the actions of others.