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Am I a Soccer Mom?
During a routine drive to soccer practice with my 8-year-old, I experienced a profound realization: I am, in fact, a soccer mom—a term often used to describe suburban, middle-aged mothers who frequently appear in headlines during presidential election seasons.
Reflecting on my life, the evidence supporting this label was overwhelming. I have two children, one of whom plays soccer. I surrendered to the allure of the minivan, now driving a vehicle that feels almost as long as a football field. My wardrobe has morphed into a collection of yoga pants, and I sometimes make the fashion faux pas of pairing tennis shoes with jeans, much to my sister’s horror. Years ago, I opted for suburban living in a good school district over my previous city life. My shopping habits have shifted to places like Costco, where purchasing two gallons of peanut butter and ten whole chickens now seems practical. My husband and I are even discussing getting a dog. I find myself yelling “slow down” at speeding cars on our street, and I actually felt genuine excitement when buying a new, extra-large washer and dryer.
For the first time, I noticed that I was fitting into a predetermined mold. Growing up, I was never clearly defined by any stereotype—neither a tomboy nor a girly girl, not a nerd nor one of the popular crowd. I enjoyed “The Breakfast Club,” yet I didn’t fully identify with any of its characters. I saw bits of myself in certain stereotypes but never the entirety of one. I was simply me.
Before becoming a parent, I would scoff at minivans, dreading being stuck behind one on the road. I chose to live in a series of run-down city apartments rather than the suburbs. Unsurprisingly, I spent as little time at home as possible, frequently traveling, shopping at flea markets, and dining at trendy restaurants. My weekends involved late nights and leisurely mornings, and I owned just one pot and one pan, unsure of how to use them. While I always envisioned becoming a parent, my understanding of motherhood was vague at best.
I married and had children in my thirties, and as the years sped by, I woke up one day as a 40-year-old soccer mom. I initially grappled with this identity, analyzing my place in the soccer mom “sorority” for an uncomfortably long time. However, I eventually stepped back and recognized that I’m not just a stereotype—no one truly is. I still wear mismatched socks, view cooking as a chore, relish lounging in pajamas until noon on lazy weekends, love travel and reading, frequent museums, and indulge in cold pizza for breakfast whenever possible. I cry when I laugh, feel restless without daily outdoor time, and eagerly await the day I can replace my minivan when finances and my chauffeur duties allow. My children are being raised to appreciate both NASCAR and opera. I adore “Downton Abbey” as much as I do “The Walking Dead.”
Time has not dramatically altered my core values. Family, faith, integrity, friendship, a love for the outdoors, and the importance of laughter were significant to me in my twenties, and they remain so today.
My midlife crisis concluded as abruptly as it began. The trappings of soccer mom life are simply part of motherhood, not my defining characteristics. This realization likely resonates with many of us. As we approach middle age, we navigate parenthood, care for aging relatives, pursue career advancement, and consider retirement savings. Though our bodies may start showing signs of wear and tear, our true selves persist beneath the surface of age and responsibility.
Many years ago, my grandmother, then 78, assured me that in her heart, she still felt 25. Deep down, we all retain that youthful spirit.
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Summary
In conclusion, while the label of “soccer mom” may seem fitting, it does not encompass the complexities of individual identity or values. Many parents navigate various responsibilities while staying true to their core selves, which often extend beyond societal stereotypes. Embrace the multifaceted nature of motherhood and remember that beneath the surface, we all retain fragments of our younger selves.