Reflections on Two Decades Post-College: A Personal Journey

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By: Emily Carter

As I approached my 20th birthday, I received a card from my younger brother. His handwriting was a bit chaotic, but the message was clear: “Wow, I can’t believe you’re 20!” At that moment, I too found it hard to fathom. Turning 20 felt significant, marking the end of my teenage years and the onset of adulthood. I was finally at an age where my brother found my age impressive, yet still youthful enough to appreciate the sentiment rather than feel belittled by it.

However, the transition from 19 to 20 wasn’t marked by any dramatic change. Internally, I felt the same, often recalling the innocence of being 14 or even 10. The realization struck me that I would never again be a teenager or a child; time moves in only one direction, and I was now embarking on the journey of adulthood.

Reunion Reflections

Fast forward to my 20th college reunion, I anticipated a similar sense of mundanity. In my more cynical moments, I dismissed reunions as mere tactics for universities to boost donations and foster loyalty among alumni. Graduation had felt devoid of meaning, held in a football stadium—a venue I seldom visited—due to security protocols for our commencement speaker, President Clinton. It was a day filled with rain, metal detectors, and family distractions; a day that felt more like an obligation than a celebration of our college experience.

Yet, societal norms often suggest that reunions are uncool, reserved for those struggling to move beyond their youthful days. So, is it socially acceptable to admit that I genuinely enjoyed mine?

There’s an unmistakable connection that arises when reuniting with those who knew you in your formative years. Even if our relationships were superficial or fraught, there existed a shared history. Beneath conversations about careers, relationships, and past regrets was a current of understanding: we once shared a space where we began to envision our futures.

Returning to campus after many years felt surreal, as time seemed to warp—life there felt both recent and like a lifetime ago. I encountered a friend outside a dormitory, and for a moment, it felt as if we were still students. We reminisced at tables where we once discussed youthful dilemmas, revisiting the intensity of our past experiences and aspirations. While we had made compromises in adulthood, there was a shared longing to recapture the carefree essence of our youth.

Moments of Connection

Under the reunion tent, I found myself sharing how I spent the week prior, sewing name labels onto my daughter’s clothing for sleepaway camp. A friend remarked incredulously, “I can’t imagine you doing that.” I was taken aback; had I truly changed so much? What else had I forgotten about myself through the years?

As the weekend unfolded, we gathered in groups, piecing together shared memories. “Was that the night you lost your shoes?” “Or was that junior year?” Our recollections merged and intertwined, revealing the multifaceted nature of our pasts. We navigated the campus differently now; the absence of random encounters replaced by organized meetups facilitated by technology. Yet, the underlying need for connection remained.

During lunch, one woman shared her poignant story of losing her father, a familiar tale of illness and grief. We listened intently, offering our condolences. “I remember meeting your dad,” someone said, reviving a memory she had almost forgotten. The shared recollection served as a reminder that the essence of those we’ve lost continues to resonate within the spaces we once inhabited.

Conversations deepened as we discussed life’s challenges—addiction, regret, and despair. It became clear that life doesn’t have clear winners or losers. Experiences vary greatly, devoid of a predictable narrative.

Reflections on Change

Later, I returned to my hotel room, reflecting on the weekend in my notebook. I realized that 20, like any other age, holds no special significance. Transitions creep up on us subtly, like a cat nudging you awake in the morning. First, they gently paw at the door, then curl up beside you, reminding you it’s time to face the day.

On Sunday morning, a light rain fell, and I felt a wave of melancholy wash over me. I wanted to avoid the sad farewell beneath a damp tent, fearing the reality of returning to our complex adult lives. I longed to keep my friends in that timeless space, preserving the memories of who we once were. I wanted the comfort of knowing that I could always return to this shared history whenever needed.

In summary, the experience of reconnecting with college friends after 20 years was both nostalgic and enlightening. The reunion highlighted the undeniable bond formed through shared experiences, while also revealing how we’ve all evolved over time. We may have faced various challenges, but together, we navigated the journey of life and reflected on the past with a sense of understanding and camaraderie.