I Stopped Online Dating, and It’s Been a Game Changer

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In an age where digital connectivity seems to dominate every aspect of our lives, my journey away from online dating has been surprisingly liberating. You might find my approach to dating a bit traditional; I still rely on a physical calendar to keep track of my schedule. Online dating began to gain traction in my mid-20s with platforms like eHarmony and Match. Initially, it was a secretive topic among my single friends, but after witnessing a few weddings that resulted from online matches, I was intrigued.

One Sunday, I sat down with a friend to craft our online profiles, answering a myriad of questions about our personalities, values, and what we sought in a partner. I even created a new email account dedicated to this pursuit and dove into the world of online matchmaking, fully convinced that love awaited me.

However, the thrill began to fade as I reached out to potential matches but received little to no responses. Then came Gabe, who engaged me in conversation through the platform’s questions. I was excited; our exchanges felt promising, and I began to develop feelings for him. But when I shared some personal family news regarding my father’s health, Gabe’s engagement suddenly dropped off. I found myself analyzing my words, desperately seeking clarity. Eventually, his response was blunt: “I don’t date girls who have complicated issues.” That was the end of our communication, leaving me heartbroken and questioning my worth.

After taking a break from online dating, I ventured into the world of traditional dating, experiencing a few connections and even a serious relationship with an old college friend. However, in my early 30s, a close friend encouraged me to give online dating another shot. With a new site focused on global connections, I reluctantly created yet another profile.

Despite my efforts, I faced a barrage of messages from men seeking superficial traits like a “perfect body” or expressing a desire for a submissive partner. My attempts to initiate meaningful conversations were met with silence, leading me to deactivate my account once again. After moving to different cities, I tried various dating platforms, but each time ended in disappointment.

At the age of 38, I came to a significant realization: online dating simply isn’t for me. While many have found success and companionship through these platforms, I felt that the curated profiles often misrepresented our true selves. The process felt like shopping for a partner rather than building a genuine connection. The ease with which people can ghost one another only added to my disillusionment.

After 13 years and multiple dating sites, I decided to step away from the online dating scene for good. Since making this choice, I have never felt happier as a single person. Instead of fixating on when I might meet “the one,” I’ve embraced the present. I dedicate my time to activities I love, such as hiking and writing, and I’ve strengthened relationships with those around me. This newfound freedom has allowed me to smile at strangers and appreciate life in ways I hadn’t before.

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In summary, my journey away from online dating has led to greater fulfillment and happiness in my life. I have chosen to focus on the present and engage in activities that bring me joy rather than seeking out romantic relationships online.