An Excerpt from ‘A Guide for Parents of LGBTQ+ Children’

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Navigating your child’s coming-out journey can be as complex for you as it is for them. You may find yourself grappling with questions like, “Is this a choice?” “What will others think?” and “Is this somehow my fault?” While your child learns to express their identity, you will also face decisions about sharing this significant aspect of their life with others. Factors such as your comfort level and your child’s readiness to disclose this information are crucial.

You are not obliged to inform every acquaintance about your child’s sexual orientation, but you certainly have the option to do so! Remember, the choice to share this information is deeply personal and should align with both your and your child’s feelings.

When to Share Information

The decision on when to inform others—be it family, friends, or coworkers—varies based on when you and your child feel ready. Below are some scenarios to guide you:

1. Your Child Wants to Tell Others: If both you and your child agree that they want others to know, and your child prefers to initiate the conversation, it’s vital to support them. Allow them space to share in their own words. You can encourage them to keep you updated on their experiences, and if you anticipate certain reactions from specific individuals, discussing this with your child beforehand can be useful.
2. Your Child Wants You to Inform Others: In cases where your child is comfortable but lacks experience in these discussions, they may look to you for assistance. It’s essential to clarify what they would like you to communicate when you speak to others. This might simply involve stating, “Aunt Lisa, Jake has come out as bisexual.” This initial disclosure can help your child feel more confident in addressing follow-up questions.
3. Your Child Is Ready, But You Are Not: It’s entirely valid to need time to process your child’s coming out. Their journey has been ongoing, while this may be new for you. It’s important to communicate your need for time to your child, explaining that you wish to better understand their feelings before sharing with others. A timeline can help set expectations, such as revisiting the discussion in a few weeks.
4. Your Child Isn’t Ready to Share: If your child confides in you but expresses discomfort with others knowing, it is crucial to respect their wishes. Coming out is a significant step, and your child deserves the agency to control who knows and how they learn about their identity. You can check in with them after some time to see if their feelings have changed.
5. Both You and Your Child Are Hesitant: If both of you feel unsure about sharing this information, remember that there is no obligation to disclose anything. This is a personal matter, and the priority should be your relationship with your child. Engage in open discussions about your hesitations, fostering a comfortable environment for both of you as you navigate this together.

These conversations can be challenging, but they are essential for supporting your child’s journey. For additional insights on related topics like home insemination, visit this resource. For authoritative information on insemination, you can also check out Make a Mom. Additionally, Hopkins Medicine provides excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.

Summary

This excerpt discusses the complexities of coming out for both LGBTQ+ children and their parents. It outlines various scenarios regarding how and when to inform others about a child’s sexual orientation, emphasizing the importance of communication and respect for each other’s readiness.