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You Think You Know THAT Child — But You Don’t
You may think you are familiar with THAT child—the one who appears too mature to be throwing a tantrum in the towel aisle at the store. The child who repeatedly throws mulch at others on the playground. The one who has an abundance of “potty words,” pushes boundaries too far, and disrupts a restaurant with loud outbursts. That child who even lashes out at a stranger simply for saying “Hello!” You might warn your own children to steer clear, fearing that his behavior might influence them. However, you truly don’t know THAT child.
You aren’t aware of the countless hours his mother has dedicated to waiting rooms, consulting pediatric therapists, researching dietary changes, and studying behavior modification techniques. You likely don’t know that his father has taken days off work to provide him with sponge baths and has perfected a technique known as the ‘squeezy hug’ to help calm him down. You can’t grasp the pride that swells in their hearts when he warmly greets his therapist, only to feel crushed moments later when he reacts with aggression. You may not comprehend the heartache of watching him miss out on parties, amusement park rides, playdates, and movie outings because he simply “can’t make it stop,” whatever “it” is at the moment.
You may not realize that this child was once a calm, cheerful baby until a viral infection at just seven weeks old altered his personality dramatically. You likely don’t know that he would prefer to spend the day snuggled in a chair with his cherished blanket, avoiding the outside world. You might overlook how sensitive he is to the feelings of animals, often being the first to notice when they are scared and offering his favorite blanket to comfort them. You may not see how gentle he is with babies, taking the time to notice every small detail about them. You probably don’t know that every morning, he asks his mother how she slept the previous night. You might be unaware that he willingly shares his treats without expecting anything in return. He enjoys cooking, with breakfast being his specialty, though he struggles to fit in with the world around him.
You can’t fathom the depths of love one can have for a child who faces such challenges. I know all of this and more because THAT child is my son, Oliver. And never forget it.
Further Reading
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In summary, understanding a child who exhibits challenging behavior requires a deep awareness of their unique experiences, struggles, and the love that surrounds them.