As a parent, I’ve often found myself grappling with various challenges that seem straightforward in theory but become complicated in practice. One such challenge is teaching my children the proper anatomical names for their body parts. My four-year-old refers to his penis as a “pee-pee,” and my two-year-old has adopted the same playful term for her vagina.
Admittedly, I’m quite impressionable when it comes to parenting advice. Whenever someone shares their method—like limiting juice intake to four ounces a day based on recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics—I feel compelled to follow suit. But when my child asks for another juice box, I find myself wavering, and before I know it, he’s consumed eight ounces, or maybe even ten. This tendency to capitulate is a hallmark of my parenting style.
I once read a compelling article by a mother who insisted on using anatomically correct terms for body parts. I thought, “What a brilliant approach!” I don’t have any reservations about using words like “penis” or “vagina,” so I planned to avoid cutesy alternatives. Another article I read suggested that using euphemisms could instill a sense of shame about their bodies in children. I was sold on this concept because I want to raise body-positive, confident kids.
Dr. Sears emphasizes the importance of using accurate terminology from an early age. He argues that this lays the groundwork for open and trustworthy communication about sensitive topics as children grow. The thought that I could be jeopardizing my future relationship with my teen by using the term “pee-pee” instead of “penis” was daunting.
As the months passed, I attempted to correct my child. I sat him down and explained that his “pee-pee” is actually called a “penis.” However, it quickly became clear that I had missed the opportunity to instill this new terminology. When I casually asked him, “What’s that called?” I was met with a blank stare, as if he were saying, “What are you talking about, Mom?”
It dawned on me that we simply do not discuss penises frequently enough for this to be a pressing issue. While there are genuine concerns about children being able to accurately label their body parts to report any potential abuse, I take those discussions seriously. I’ve had multiple conversations with my son about body autonomy and the importance of telling me if someone makes him uncomfortable. He reassured me, saying, “Yes, Mommy, I know. No one is allowed to touch my pee-pee but me.”
So, in our household, we stick with the terms we’ve chosen. While this may seem like a parenting failure, I think it’s quite normal. In a world where we use playful names for items like bottles and pacifiers, is it really a big deal? I’m perfectly fine with “penis” being part of the baby-talk lexicon.
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In summary, while I may not have mastered the art of teaching anatomical names for body parts, I believe that what matters most is fostering a safe space for open dialogue with my children, regardless of the terminology we choose to use.