8 Parental Responsibilities I Would Consider Outsourcing

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In today’s fast-paced world, many parents are juggling multiple responsibilities, leading some to consider outsourcing certain parenting tasks. From potty training to tackling thumb-sucking issues, the options are varied. Upon reflection, I’ve identified several parental duties that I would gladly pass on to experts. Here’s a breakdown of those responsibilities:

1. Teaching Shoe Tying: The art of tying shoes might seem straightforward, but it can be deceptively challenging for children. Despite employing the “bunny ears” method and investing in practice boards, progress often feels like a never-ending cycle of frustration. The reality is, unless you have a cardboard stand-in to cheer your child on, traditional methods may prove ineffective. Furthermore, attempts to convince kids that velcro sneakers are stylish often fall flat by the time they reach middle school.
2. Bike Riding Instruction: Preparing a child to ride a bike is no small feat. The physical demands of supporting a child and their bike while offering encouragement can be overwhelming. After years of running, nothing could have prepared me for the challenge of helping a 5-year-old learn to ride. When others boast of their athletic achievements, I simply mention my experience in teaching bike riding—it tends to leave them speechless.
3. Sex Education: Often, this topic is unwittingly handed over to peers. Recently, my child came home claiming to have received a comprehensive education from friends on the school bus. Although initially alarming, I was relieved to check that they had covered most of the facts—except for a few inaccuracies regarding anatomy. It’s clear that younger kids may not always deliver correct information, so a review is essential.
4. Telling Time: In an era dominated by digital devices, the relevance of learning to read analog clocks can be questioned. However, it’s a skill that remains useful in various situations. My attempts to teach my child the concept of time were met with confusion, leading to amusing exchanges about quarters and pies instead of time-telling.
5. Enduring Long Lines: Amusement parks are notorious for their lengthy queues, often for the chance to meet a character in costume. It’s a challenge to maintain the magic for kids while being acutely aware that the person behind the mask is likely just a college student fulfilling a summer job. Wouldn’t it be great if we could hire someone to stand in line while we relax?
6. Using Cutlery Safely: The task of teaching children how to handle a steak knife is daunting. The potential for mishaps makes it seem wiser to encourage them to eat in a more primitive fashion. Just kidding—sort of.
7. Reinforcing Math Skills: It can feel like a never-ending cycle of reviewing multiplication facts. After years of practice, the process can become redundant. Imagine the challenge of getting a child to grasp the concept of commutative math while keeping their spirits high.
8. Swimming Lessons: My attempts to teach swimming often feel chaotic. Between instructing my kids on proper form and trying to communicate with them while they’re submerged, the experience resembles a watery dance-off more than a lesson.

Finally, the one responsibility I would absolutely outsource is driving. While driver’s education provides a foundation, the practice period with a novice driver can be nerve-wracking. I would prefer to let my partner take the wheel during that stage, while I wait for updates from a safe distance.

In conclusion, while every milestone in childhood is a significant achievement, the arduous journey often comes with its share of challenges. It would be ideal to outsource the physical strains of parenting, but it’s the journey that often brings parents the most joy.

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