A Conversation for the Future: Navigating Body Awareness and Health

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As children mature, they naturally begin to inquire about their bodies. Recently, my three-year-old son, Max, asked me a question that highlighted his curiosity: “Where’s your penis button?” His innocent confusion merged anatomical terms in a way only a child could.

In my response, I explained, “Mommies don’t have penises. Mommies are girls, and boys have penises.” My partner, Jake, and I have always fostered an open dialogue about our bodies in front of Max, believing that they are nothing to be embarrassed about. We want him to appreciate his body as strong, healthy, and capable.

While I change into my pajamas in front of him, I also emphasize the importance of privacy. For instance, when Max excitedly revealed his penis at the dinner table, eager to show off a new trick involving his underwear, I gently informed him that touching himself is a private matter that should be kept away from the dinner table. As he navigates potty training, he is learning to express his need for privacy in the bathroom, even if he often calls for assistance when he needs help getting dressed or wiped.

We discuss what is appropriate in different settings, whether at home or in public. Despite this, I felt a pang of uncertainty when he pointed to my chest and asked, “What are those, Mama?” This inquiry, while similar to his earlier question about anatomical differences, struck deeper.

My breasts, altered by a bilateral mastectomy, are a complex topic. They bear scars from surgery, and my nipples have been replaced with tattoos that mimic their former appearance. Although they no longer sag or jiggle, they are cool to the touch and lack sensitivity due to severed nerves. I realized I would need to explain these changes to Max eventually, but not yet.

Above my reconstructed breasts lies a power port implanted under my skin. This device, about the size of a nickel, serves a crucial function: it allows nurses to administer chemotherapy directly into my bloodstream. When Max pointed at his own nipples and asked about mine, I explained, “This is where I receive my medicine, not a nipple.” His understanding surprised me, filling me with emotion.

In the future, I know I will have to share difficult truths with him. I will need to tell him about my Stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis when he was just five months old, how I had to wean him abruptly to start treatment, and the fear that comes with ongoing health challenges. But for now, I keep the conversation light. I tell him he has a penis and a belly button, and I have one but not the other. To his amazement, I explain that his belly button is where he was connected to me while he was in my womb. I assure him that some days I feel tired like he does, and we can enjoy extra cuddle time on the couch.

Preparing for future discussions about our bodies and health is essential, but I know that I can only address these topics as he grows and asks more complex questions.

For further reading on family health and well-being, consider visiting this excellent resource on pregnancy: Healthline. You can also explore more about fertility topics and health at Make a Mom. Additionally, for insights on self-insemination techniques, check out this informative piece on our other blog: Sample Page.

In summary, fostering an open, honest dialogue about bodies is crucial for children as they grow. While challenging conversations may lie ahead, creating a safe space for questions today will help pave the way for understanding in the future.