Effective Strategies for Waking a Sleeping Teenager (Without Unnecessary Conflict)

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As parents of young children often share stories about their early risers, I can’t help but empathize. However, I advise them not to rush through this phase; energetic toddlers at dawn are far easier to manage than moody teenagers who resemble vampires.

When my children were young, they too would rise with the sun, but they were not overly energetic upon waking — a relief for me, considering my late nights spent working on freelance projects. Those early mornings were often eased by beloved shows like Sesame Street and Arthur, along with the occasional episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants, which I never intended to watch but ended up enjoying. On the rare days they overslept, I would check on them, worried about their well-being.

Time passed, and the boys transitioned into their teenage years, waking later and later, while the only aspect of my morning routine that remained consistent was ensuring they were indeed alive. Now, after extensive experience, I consider myself a qualified authority on the best methods to wake a sleeping teenager. Here’s what I’ve discovered:

What to Avoid:

1. Revoking Privileges: When frustration strikes, it’s tempting to assert control by taking away privileges. However, remember that this phase lasts for several years. This approach often leads to indifference and resentment rather than cooperation.
2. Purchasing Various Alarms: Teens can easily tune out multiple alarms, regardless of how creative or loud they may be. Even those that mimic a rooster or recite movie lines tend to be ignored. I’ve tried them all, and none have proven effective.
3. Using Pets as Alarm Clocks: Sending in the dog might seem appealing, but it typically backfires. Instead of waking them, it lulls them back to sleep, as they enjoy the cozy affection of their pet.

Recommended Strategies:

1. Use the Aroma of Breakfast: Quietly open the bedroom door and head to the kitchen to prepare bacon. The enticing smell will naturally rouse them without you having to utter a word.
2. Lightly Annoy Them: This is easier than it sounds. Try raising the blinds, flipping on the light, or cheerfully saying, “Good morning!” Alternatively, call their name from downstairs. Expect one of two responses: “WHAT?” or “I’M UP, MOM!” — though they are likely not up at all. These tactics may irritate them, but they will eventually wake.
3. Send a Text: Surprisingly, teens often respond to text notifications even when they ignore alarms. Include an incentive, like a trip to Subway, as this often leads to them waking up.
4. Turn on the Cartoons: If all else fails, revive some nostalgic cartoons. They secretly miss them and might be enticed to wake up for a dose of their childhood favorites.

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In summary, waking a teenager requires a blend of patience and creativity. Avoid confrontational tactics and focus on appealing to their senses and interests to make the morning routine smoother for both parties.