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The Unanticipated Reality of Motherhood: A Cleaning Professional’s Journey
During a recent conversation with a colleague named Mark, we delved into the daily intricacies of our lives. At the time, I was a stay-at-home mom, while Mark held a prestigious position at an advertising firm—something like “Director of Creative Branded Cross-Advertorial Synergistic Relationships.” Curious about his role, I inquired about his daily activities.
“I direct creative branded cross-advertorial synergistic relationships,” he explained.
“What does that even mean?” I pressed further.
“I facilitate creative branded cross-advertorial synergistic relationships,” he replied, slightly annoyed.
“Okay, but what do you actually do from the moment you arrive at the office until 6 p.m.?” I asked, breaking it down as if he were a child.
“I send emails,” he responded. “What about you?”
“I wipe stuff,” I answered simply.
Motherhood encompasses various titles: housewife, domestic engineer, working mom, full-time mom, stay-at-home mom, or work-at-home mom. Regardless of the label, when we examine the essence of the role, it becomes clear that a significant part of it involves cleaning.
To clarify, my responsibilities extend beyond just wiping. I also engage in scraping, scrubbing, folding, and sweeping. However, if we were to analyze my daily tasks, it would be accurate to conclude that I function primarily as a cleaning lady, which poses a dilemma because I do not enjoy cleaning.
Chores that demand constant repetition—like washing dishes, doing laundry, or tidying up the living room—are particularly disheartening. I often find myself reflecting in the shower, “Didn’t I just do this yesterday?”
The transition to motherhood brings numerous surprises: the intensity of childbirth, the high costs of childcare, and the unsolicited advice about dressing babies appropriately even in mild weather. Yet, the most shocking revelation for me was the sheer volume of cleaning that skyrockets once you have children. While my husband and I previously managed household tasks with minimal effort—washing a few dishes each evening and vacuuming sporadically—our approach changed drastically after welcoming kids into our lives.
A single family meal now resembles a disaster zone. Breakfast can leave the kitchen looking like a chaotic scene, with crumbs littering the floor and sticky residue on surfaces. We often use an excessive number of plates, cutting boards, and utensils. No matter how diligently I sweep and vacuum, grit seems to be a constant companion.
The dirty dishes could easily be on a conveyor belt, given how quickly they accumulate. I recall expressing my frustrations to my husband about the never-ending cycle of cleaning, likening myself to Dishyphus, Sisyphus’s neglected spouse. While he rolls his boulder, I am left grappling with the aftermath of meals.
Even with both parents actively contributing to household chores, it remains a daunting task. It takes both of us nearly all day to manage the mess generated by our children. Paper scraps appear mysteriously, markers find their way to walls, and mud from shoes inevitably ends up on freshly made beds. The chaos can feel overwhelming.
After a long day, my husband, too fatigued to tackle the dishes, often places leftover pots in the fridge, where they silently accumulate mold. Shoes, coats, and bags create a path through our home, like remnants of a hasty exit from a marathon. I now find myself stepping over the clutter, weary of reminding the kids to tidy up.
In an ideal world, when a baby is delivered in a hospital, new mothers would receive essential cleaning supplies like microfiber cloths and paper towels. Alongside crucial classes on breastfeeding and baby care, a housekeeping tutorial would be invaluable. They might say, “Breastfeeding and diaper-changing are temporary. However, cleaning is a lifelong endeavor. Welcome to motherhood.”
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In summary, motherhood often reveals an unexpected reality: the primary role may feel like that of a cleaning professional. The ongoing cycle of chores can be disheartening, yet it’s a shared experience among mothers everywhere.