My Parenting Approach: “Do Your Best and Feel Guilty About It”

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Parenting can be a daunting journey, often filled with unexpected challenges and emotional complexities. My own experience led me to a unique parenting philosophy: “Do Your Best and Feel Guilty About It.”

Before becoming a parent, I envisioned myself as a firm individual, impervious to the cries of a distressed child. However, the reality was quite different. The first time I allowed my newborn to cry for more than a few minutes, I found myself lifting him from the crib, whispering apologies as he sobbed.

I watched friends effortlessly tuck their children into bed before prime-time television, leaving them with precious hours of free time each evening. I often felt as though they were excelling while I was somehow lacking. My exhaustion made it difficult to hide my envy as they shared stories about their meticulously planned nap schedules at the park. During those early days, every tale of another child sleeping soundly or eating well felt like a personal affront.

In my attempts to provide homemade baby food, I quickly discovered that my infant would reject anything that had been frozen, making the entire endeavor futile. I found myself nodding along when fellow mothers criticized fruit pouches as “junk food,” even though they had become a staple in our home.

My children typically run around the house until late at night, surviving on a diet of spaghetti, broccoli, eggs, peas, hot dogs, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I have never crafted an elaborate school lunch or volunteered at my son’s preschool. I don’t keep a baby book; instead, I have a collection of keepsakes stuffed into a plastic bag. My four-year-old is well-versed in the theme songs of every Nick Jr. show and adept at navigating my phone for his favorite YouTube videos. Meanwhile, my two-year-old frequently exclaims phrases like “no way,” “aww man!” and even “Jesus Christ!”

Despite all this, I assure you, I am doing my best. While my best may not meet someone else’s standards, I have come to accept that it is enough. For a long time, I felt as though I was merely parenting by chance, my pre-baby ideals slipping away. I often compared my parenting style to others and felt inadequate. Yet, as I reflect on my children, I realize they are happy and loved.

It took me four years to embrace my parenting style, which I initially labeled with that guilt-ridden tagline. I now understand that the guilt is unnecessary. Sure, there are areas where I could improve—encouraging my children to try new foods, documenting their milestones, or being a bit more selective in my language. But when I look in the mirror and ask myself if I am a good parent, I confidently say, “Yes.”

Ultimately, that affirmation is what truly matters.

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Summary

My parenting philosophy, “Do Your Best and Feel Guilty About It,” reflects the reality many parents face. Despite my shortcomings, I recognize that my children are happy and loved, which is what truly counts.