The Confidence of Youth: A Reflection on Belonging and Self-Assurance

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Parenting encompasses a myriad of emotions, and one of the most profound is witnessing the unapologetic confidence of our children. A year ago, I found myself standing at the back door, listening to the joyful sounds of neighborhood kids having fun in our yard. My son, Lucas, rushed in, breathlessly asking, “Mom! Can I go play with my friends? Where are my shoes?”

I replied, “They’re wherever you left them, sweetheart.”

Panic ensued. “But, Mom! I can’t find them! Can you help me? HURRY! They’re waiting for me!”

It’s important to note that his friends were not actually waiting for him; they were engrossed in their play. Yet, in Lucas’s mind, he was an essential part of their group, confident in his belonging and importance.

After a few minutes, we found his shoes, and he dashed outside. Watching him skip across the yard radiated pure joy and self-assurance. It filled me with happiness, knowing he was embraced by his friends, who, despite being older, welcomed him into their circle. However, amidst this joy, I felt an unexpected mix of envy and awe.

Lucas’s certainty in his place within that group reminded me of my own childhood confidence, which has since diminished over time. As a child, I felt secure and accepted, but adolescence introduced self-doubt and comparison. Questions about my worthiness emerged: Am I pretty enough? Smart enough? Liked enough? The insecurities that plagued my youth often resurface, even in adulthood.

Do we ever fully shake off that self-consciousness from our teenage years? The longing to fit in and feel accepted often remains. In college, I masked my insecurities with parties and alcohol, creating a façade of someone I aspired to be rather than embracing my true self. In my twenties, I relied on makeup and fashion to mask my fears, striving for an image of confidence that often felt hollow.

Even now, as an adult, I still grapple with vulnerability. Social media can become a tool for comparison, with likes, followers, and superficial metrics dictating my sense of self-worth. I often wonder if the confident, carefree child still exists beneath these layers of doubt.

If I listen closely, I can sense that inner voice of my younger self reminding me that it’s okay to be authentic and to embrace my worth. Perhaps our role as parents is to nurture that self-assurance in our children, reinforcing their inherent value and creating a supportive environment where they can thrive without fear.

Simultaneously, we must endeavor to reclaim our own confidence, acknowledging our vulnerabilities while recognizing that everyone grapples with their own insecurities. We all desire a sense of belonging, despite our differences. The challenge lies in removing our own masks, embracing our true selves, and offering our hands to our children as we navigate toward the inherent awesomeness that life has to offer.

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In summary, the journey through confidence and belonging is a shared experience between parents and children. By fostering a nurturing environment and embracing our authentic selves, we can cultivate a sense of belonging for ourselves and our children alike.