Updated: April 17, 2018
Originally Published: January 13, 2012
In recent years, there has been considerable discussion surrounding the appropriateness of sharing our less-than-ideal feelings about parenthood online. Many wonder how our children might react if they were to discover a post or tweet from their past. Will they be devastated by the knowledge that we experienced frustration? Considering that digital content is often permanent, is it worth the fleeting satisfaction of voicing our emotions? Are we simply prioritizing our own needs over their well-being?
The answer is no. We are striving to survive.
Motherhood is undeniably challenging. While the joyful moments often eclipse the frustrating ones, they do not encompass the entirety of the experience. If there exists a mother who has navigated this journey without difficulty, I would be keen to learn her secret, as it seems implausible. Some mothers turn to alcohol, others indulge in retail therapy, and some may resort to extreme dieting or infidelity. Others, however, choose to write. It’s worth considering which of these coping mechanisms is truly more harmful to a family unit.
Our children require our love, attention, and guidance in the present moment. If sharing a post or tweet helps me or another mother release negativity and be more present for our families, then it is justified. My love for my children is beyond question. Every action I take is influenced by how it will affect them. They are my world, and I express my affection for them daily. Yet, am I flawless? Certainly not. More importantly, do they need to perceive me as perfect? If discovering that I found their behavior irritating years from now is the worst challenge they encounter, I will consider them incredibly fortunate and accept my title as Mother of the Millennium.
Not everyone may resonate with my posts, the guest contributions I share, or the anonymous confessions featured in my writing. That’s perfectly acceptable. There are countless platforms celebrating the ideal of motherhood, and I encourage readers to explore those if they wish. However, it is not anyone’s place to dictate how I or others should express ourselves. When a mother of a child with special needs shares her love while admitting she doesn’t always like her child, it is not your responsibility to contest her feelings. Such judgments are unwarranted, whether in person or online.
I teach my children that while they are not obligated to like everyone, they must treat others with respect. They should learn to ignore things that do not directly affect them and focus on their own actions—a fundamental lesson that seems to have been overlooked by some.
Certainly, social media adds a unique dimension to modern parenting, and we must be mindful of the words we share, understanding that our children may one day encounter them. I believe we will have raised them with enough love and care that they can appreciate a few light-hearted posts. If they struggle to understand sarcasm, I would view that as a personal failing in my parenting.
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In summary, navigating the complexities of motherhood in the digital age involves balancing the need for self-expression with awareness of its potential impact on our children. Sharing our experiences—both the good and the challenging—can be a vital coping mechanism, enabling us to be more present for our families.