Five Fabulations for Navigating Parenthood

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When we step into the role of a parent, we often find ourselves adopting various personas to meet our children’s needs—whether as chefs, chauffeurs, or, yes, even storytellers. It’s a universal truth: we all resort to a little creative fibbing. Instead of feeling guilty about these minor deceptions, let’s celebrate the ways they help us manage the delightful chaos of parenting. Sometimes, a small untruth can facilitate our daily tasks and give us a much-needed breather. Here are five common fabrications I’ve employed over the years:

1. “Santa is Watching You”
   The idea of Santa Claus is a classic, but my twist involves the notion that he has an omnipresent eye on all behavior—good and bad. In the midst of a shopping trip where my child is demanding yet another toy, I often say, “Santa has his eye on you. If you keep this up, you might not get that Nerf gun you wanted!” When the inevitable questions arise about how Santa observes us, I simply point to the ceiling and declare, “Those are cameras connected to his workshop.” This strategy allows me to continue the shopping while managing their expectations.
2. “It’s Broken”
   As the mother of two energetic boys, my day is filled with constant requests for assistance. When I need a break from being their on-demand technician, I resort to declaring, “It’s broken!” If my youngest wants me to turn on the DVD player just so he can switch it off moments later, I simply say, “Sorry, it’s broken!” This little lie often leads to sibling wrestling matches, giving me a chance to catch up on my favorite shows. In this case, I consider it a parenting win.
3. “It’s Closed”
   Navigating errands can be a tactical operation, especially when it comes to avoiding toy stores or fast-food joints. To prevent the inevitable, “Can we go there?” questions, I often claim, “It’s closed!” My older child may see through this, but my younger one easily accepts it. When my eldest questions me further, I’ll cleverly add, “It’s under construction.” This tactic keeps the peace and keeps our schedule on track.
4. “You’ll Get Sick”
   As a parent, I often find myself using exaggerated truths to encourage my children to wear jackets or avoid certain foods. For instance, I might say, “If you don’t wear your sweater, you’ll get sick!” or “No more candy; it could make you sick.” While these statements may not always align with medical facts, they do help me ensure my children are comfortable and safe—at least until they can fend for themselves.
5. “I’ll Call Your Teacher”
   When my authority falls short, a little intimidation goes a long way. I frequently tell my children that I will contact their teacher if they refuse to do their homework. The mere mention of a phone call to someone they view as a greater authority often prompts the desired behavior. “If you don’t brush your teeth, I’ll have to inform the tooth fairy about your refusal!” usually gets them moving.

In conclusion, while these little white lies might seem trivial, they play an essential role in maintaining order and sanity in the whirlwind of parenting. Whether it’s to encourage good behavior or simply to buy a few moments of peace, these fibs serve their purpose well.

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