7 Ways I Still Resemble My 17-Year-Old Self

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As a teenager engrossed in literature and music, I never envisioned my future as a stay-at-home mother of six. If someone had suggested this path, I would have laughed dismissively, dismissing the notion of adopting the traditional role that society seemed eager to impose upon me. The thought of being a non-smoking, lunch-packing mom at 41, eagerly awaiting the arrival of my seventh child, would have bewildered my younger self.

Back then, my aspirations included joining the Peace Corps and securing a role at the CDC, all while living a life filled with chickens, goats, and the ideal partner who would embody my shared values. Instead, years later, I find fulfillment in a loving marriage to a beardless man who doesn’t often engage with our toolbox, and our bustling household lacks livestock but is brimming with children whose appetites rival those of recreational marijuana users. My life has become a series of errands and responsibilities that often leave laundry undone and TV time limited to children’s programming. Surprisingly, I embrace this ordinary life that I once resisted, realizing that happiness can indeed be found in conformity.

Nevertheless, I still share several traits with my 17-year-old self:

1. Passion for Reading: While my reading time has dwindled, the love for literature endures. However, books without animated covers now dominate my bedside collection, which mostly serves as a reminder of my procrastination.
2. Musical Preferences: My taste in music remains vibrant, though my children argue that my cherished artists like Neko Case and Wilco are outdated. Consequently, I’ve learned all the lyrics to current chart-toppers, some of which make me cringe. Yet, I find Ed Sheeran’s charm undeniable.
3. Interest in Fashion: I still keep an eye on fashion trends—not for personal use but to prepare myself for potential style battles with my children. It’s essential to be ready to say “absolutely not” to questionable clothing choices.
4. Desire for Adventure: In my youth, I sought out concert experiences and tried to charm my way onto tour buses. Now, I’m faced with the reality of needing a 12-passenger van to transport my crew, though our adventures are far from rock-n-roll.
5. Appreciation for Solitude: Like in my teenage years, I still cherish moments of solitude. While I once engaged in deep reflections, today’s quiet time often leads me to attempt reading one of those books I’ve been neglecting.
6. Enduring Love: I remain enamored with the same person I adored at 17. He has evolved into a supportive partner and father, far removed from the idea of chickens and goats, yet our love story is my favorite constant.
7. Unexpected Chaos: I might still encounter smoke, but it’s not from the past vices. It’s more likely a result of forgetting to set a timer while cooking, leading to burnt meals and frequent smoke alarm alerts that my kids now ignore.

The version of me at 17 had no concept of how my life would unfold, from the joys of a good night’s sleep to the mundane triumphs of household management. I’m grateful that my younger self didn’t foresee where true happiness would arise, as life is an unpredictable journey filled with unexpected joy and challenge.

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In summary, while I have transformed into a mother, many aspects of my youthful self remain intact—my love for reading, music, fashion, solitude, and the enduring bond with my partner. Life’s unpredictability has brought me joy that my younger self could never have imagined.