Dear Partner, Is Sloppiness Really Your Style?

Starting with a haiku:

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What in the fresh hell,
Are you really that lazy?
Yes, I think you are.

My partner is truly one of a kind. Over the decade we’ve been together, I can count on one hand the instances where he has raised his voice at me, never mind resorted to any unsavory behavior that would send any rational person running for the hills. He is loyal, loving, intelligent, engaging, sentimental, generous, and above all, an exceptional father. He actively participates in our children’s lives, happily playing, nurturing, and caring for them. His humor and infectious laugh brighten my days, and he generally wakes up in a good mood, making him pleasant to be around. He is stable, provides for our family, and values our marriage and family life—these are the attributes I remind myself of each day.

However, each morning, I find myself surveying our home and thinking, “What on earth?”

Are those the same baby bottles soaking in stagnant water that I left for cleaning last night? Is that a dirty diaper lying beside the changing table? Didn’t I collect all these toys yesterday, the ones scattered across the floor? Is the TV still blaring? Did the cat actually have an accident in my closet because the litter box wasn’t cleaned? The same litter box I asked you to tend to, and you casually agreed to? Are those your pants left on the bathroom floor, which you stepped over on your way out the door after using the toilet? And your shirt, just a foot away from the laundry basket—really?

I appreciate your attention to hygiene, but what exactly happens during your morning routine that leaves the mirror, counters, and floors drenched? Did you pull out your toothbrush and toothpaste this morning? I know you did because I return them to their places every day; yet somehow, you seem to think they magically put themselves away, along with the cap of the toothpaste, your deodorant, and aftershave.

Oh, and let’s not forget the wet towel—my side of the bed.

It’s alright, though—when you finally come home to take over the little ones and household responsibilities, I know there’s a piece of chocolate waiting on my desk, the chocolate you gifted me for Mother’s Day. You ate my Mother’s Day chocolate? Right off my desk?

Speaking of shared spaces, let’s discuss the refrigerator. One does not simply leave an empty juice jug inside. And leaving one teaspoon of salsa with the remark, “I saved you some,” is hardly generous—just go ahead and eat the whole jar. Also, pesto is not “dip.” If I don’t finish my restaurant meal, it doesn’t become your midnight snack. And who actually eats baby food? Only babies, that’s who. Baby cookies are exorbitantly priced—not for you, my dear. I like to eat, especially my Mother’s Day chocolate.

Let’s go over some basic household rules that seem to be overlooked:

• Trash: It goes into the trash can. If you manage that part, trash cans must be emptied. It’s not a challenge to see how much you can cram inside before the lid closes. Change it. “Change it” also means putting a new bag in and taking the full bag all the way to the garage bin. Have you heard of recycling? That’s where the stack of boxes should be, not piled beside the door in the garage for weeks.
• Cups: I use them too. Why do we have to be down to one cup before you come in with a dozen cups with rotted coffee at the bottom from your truck?
• Your truck: It is not a trash can. If we need to use it, a 15-minute clean-up shouldn’t be required just to find a seat for me. What is that smell? I drive two kids around in my car, and I’ve never encountered anything like that.
• Your dresser: It’s a place for folded clothes. I wash, dry, fold, and usually put them away—so why does it look like a war zone when I open a drawer? You had to get the shorts at the bottom, I understand, but the rest didn’t deserve that treatment.
• Laundry: The washing machine can handle a lot, but it’s not designed for four loads at once. One word: separate.

Additionally, if you’re going to “help” by putting away clothes, please don’t take my socks. I know my underwear isn’t huge, but they’re not as small as our four-year-old’s. How do they end up in her dresser?

Lastly, projects should ideally be completed. Each one seems to require a new power tool that ends up left on the patio table in the rain. I suspect we wouldn’t “need to buy one” if the others weren’t lost in that disorganized garage, which is your designated responsibility—along with the trash and litter box.

I would share more, but I’m exhausted. Just because I stayed up later than usual doesn’t mean you should let our four-year-old stay up too. Please put her to bed. That’s all. Good night.

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Summary:

Maintaining a tidy and organized home can be a challenge, especially in a bustling family environment. While it’s essential to appreciate the positive qualities of your partner, open communication about household responsibilities is crucial. Simple reminders about maintaining cleanliness in shared spaces can foster a harmonious living situation.