12 Sleep Strategies That Might Actually Work

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It’s not easy to admit, but nearly every conversation I have begins with some version of this:

Other Person: Hi, Lisa! How are you?
Me: Honestly, I’m so tired. How about you?

I’m tired for countless reasons—my children, the chaos of pets, and the relentless chatter in my mind. As a meticulous organizer, while others unwind with a good book or a show, I’m busy scrubbing the crisper drawers in the fridge or meticulously aligning Monopoly cards. To top it off, my partner snores, our neighbors argue loudly, and a group of outrageously noisy birds has taken it upon themselves to serenade me all night long, disregarding any concept of nighttime decency.

Health articles and websites suggest my exhaustion could stem from various issues: thyroid problems, hormonal changes, insufficient exercise, or perhaps too much caffeine and stress. They don’t mention massages, but I can’t be the only one who falls into a deep sleep the moment I pay for a professional touch, right? There must be a solution to my sleeplessness, I tell myself as I consult my good friend Google.

So, I embarked on yet another search for a “guaranteed sleep solution.” Unfortunately, most of the advice I found was as helpful as simply saying “get more sleep,” which is infuriating. Here’s a compilation of some expert recommendations I discovered:

1. Avoid Alcohol Before Bed: While I’m skeptical about how drinking earlier in the day will help my nighttime rest, I’m willing to give it a shot.
2. Reduce Stress: Oh, why didn’t I think of that? I’ll just resign from my job, stop worrying about the future, and put my kids up for adoption. Instant relaxation!
3. Invest in Room Darkening Blinds: I wake up long before sunrise, so I’m not convinced this will help. However, any excuse for redecorating is welcome, so I might just browse for stylish window treatments.
4. Limit Exercise Before Bedtime: I suppose I can try this, although it’s a tough sell.
5. Have a Light Snack Before Bed: A mini-meal containing both carbohydrates and protein might help increase serotonin production, so I’m definitely on board with this idea—who doesn’t love a grilled cheese sandwich in bed?
6. Don’t Overindulge: On the flip side, going to bed too full can lead to restlessness. Clearly, these experts haven’t experienced the bliss of indulging in a massive Thanksgiving feast and falling into a happy food coma.
7. Limit Daytime Naps: Ha! The last time I took a nap was eons ago, but thanks for the tip, sleep experts.
8. Unplug Your Clock: Seriously? How will I know how much sleep I’m missing if I can’t see the time?
9. Avoid Sleeping with Your Phone Under Your Pillow: Really?
10. Steer Clear of Bright Lights Before Bed: So, you’re saying I shouldn’t illuminate the whole house as part of my calming bedtime routine? Next, you’ll tell me I shouldn’t drink espresso after dinner!
11. Limit Caffeine: Refer to the previous point about bright lights.
12. Practice Good Sleep Hygiene: This means maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, even on weekends. Good to know that my insomnia doesn’t follow a calendar!

Ultimately, the best advice I can give is to let it go. While this may not be professional guidance, it’s often all we can do. We’ll sleep when we’re dead, right? In the meantime, if you find yourself counting the minutes until your alarm, consider surprising your partner with a midnight gesture. Who knows? You might find that the chores get done without a word from you.

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Summary

The struggle for a good night’s sleep can be frustrating, especially with various distractions and stressors. While expert advice includes limiting alcohol, managing stress, and maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, it’s crucial to find what truly works for you. Sometimes, a light snack or a playful moment with your partner might be the surprising solution you need.