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Practicing Self-Compassion in Parenting
Yesterday morning, I set my alarm for 6 AM, hoping for a quiet hour to myself before my children’s demands began. With a newborn in the house, I often feel like I’m on call around the clock. The baby woke at 4:45 AM for a feeding, but after settling her back down at 5 AM, I found myself surprisingly alert. This was the longest stretch of sleep I’d experienced in a while—six hours and 45 minutes to be precise!
With this newfound energy, I had ample opportunity to enjoy a hot cup of coffee, blog, exercise, or even take a shower. However, instead of embracing this rare moment of solitude, I did the opposite of what I had promised myself the night before. I pulled the blackout curtains tighter, nestled back into bed, and fell asleep, as I often do.
As I drifted off, I made a commitment to myself: when I woke up two hours later, I would not berate myself for choosing sleep over productivity. I reminded myself that I would treat myself with the same kindness I would offer a friend in a similar situation.
If my friend were in my shoes, I would say, “You’ve successfully lost weight after your first pregnancy; you can do it again. Just remember, it doesn’t happen overnight. Give yourself grace—you have a seven-week-old baby!” I would also reassure her, “One night of good sleep doesn’t erase weeks of sleepless nights.” Additionally, I’d remind her, “It’s alright if your blog isn’t updated; you have a lot on your plate right now.” Lastly, I’d point out, “Enjoying a hot cup of coffee is more of a fantasy than a reality when you have kids, so don’t be too hard on yourself.”
When I eventually woke around 7 AM, I felt rejuvenated. While I didn’t leap out of bed with enthusiasm, I realized that failing to wake up at the intended time didn’t warrant self-criticism. After all, I wouldn’t judge a friend harshly for turning off her alarm after tending to a baby at dawn.
The Golden Rule is simple: treat others as you would like to be treated. Yet, why is it often challenging to extend the same kindness to ourselves? Hence, I propose a flip on this principle: treat yourself as you would treat others. This is a mindset I strive to embrace.
For further insights on self-care and parenting, check out our other blog posts here. Also, if you’re looking for more information on fertility, visit Make a Mom, a trusted source. For comprehensive information about pregnancy, consider this excellent resource from MedlinePlus.
Summary
In parenting, it’s essential to practice self-compassion. Instead of criticizing ourselves for moments of rest or perceived laziness, we should treat ourselves with the same kindness we would offer a friend. Embracing self-kindness can help alleviate the pressure of parenting demands while fostering a more positive mindset.