The Experience of the Early Rising Parent

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At 7:23 AM, I find myself awake, having already spent an hour and eight minutes in the bustling chaos of a Saturday morning—an hour I would have preferred to spend in bed. In our household, any wake-up call before 7 AM is strictly prohibited; however, it seems that this rule is frequently disregarded. No sane person wants to interact with me when the hour is still marked by a six.

Now, one hour and ten minutes into the day, I already long for its end, yearning for the comfort of my blankets. But it’s not over yet, so here’s a detailed account of my morning activities:

1. Mourning the loss of my precious sleep.
2. Calculating the potential resale value of the kids on platforms like eBay—without mentioning their early rising tendencies, of course.
3. Resentfully eyeing the neighboring houses still cloaked in darkness.
4. Regretting the decision to binge-watch “just one more” episode of my favorite show the night before.
5. Scrolling through social media to connect with other parents who are also battling the early wake-up call.
6. Formulating rules, reward charts, and incentive strategies aimed at keeping the kids in bed until a reasonable hour (which will inevitably be abandoned by next weekend after failing).
7. Preparing breakfast, even though this means I’ll be serving lunch at an exceedingly early 10:30 AM.
8. Drafting an email to the makers of my toddler’s clock, expressing my dissatisfaction; it seems my child mastered the art of ‘bringing the sun up’ on the second day of use, resulting in premature morning light appearing at 4:00 AM, 5:00 AM, and 6:00 AM.
9. Contemplating all the tasks I could accomplish if only I weren’t so exhausted.
10. Succumbing to bouts of sleepiness, only to repeat this cycle throughout the day.

I’ll see you all at 6:00 AM tomorrow!

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In summary, the challenges of early rising parenthood can be both overwhelming and exhausting. Yet through shared experiences and resources, we can find solace and support in this often chaotic journey.