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The Appropriate Treatment of Educators: A Parent’s Perspective
As a highly attentive parent, I find myself deeply involved in my children’s daily activities. My husband often jokes about my protective instincts, which manifest in various ways—from climbing the jungle gym alongside my kids to ensuring their meals are at the right temperature, reminiscent of a safety tester. During winter, I layer them up excessively, and on the first day of school—and indeed every day following—I linger longer than necessary, showering them with hugs and kisses. Even when they are already busy with their friends, I often find myself waving frantically from the window, much to the surprise of their teacher.
However, a particular incident challenged my protective nature. One day, my daughter Lily returned home upset, revealing she had been reprimanded at school. As she showed me the dark blue ink sad faces drawn on her hands by her teacher, I felt a wave of concern wash over me. The thought of my child wearing such a mark of shame all day was troubling.
As an educator myself, I had never encountered this type of discipline—particularly in high school settings. Writing on a student’s skin seemed extreme, and I feared the implications. I decided to text Lily’s teacher, Ms. Brown, seeking clarification. Ms. Brown explained that the faces were intended to indicate misbehavior, but I found this approach unsettling. I calmly requested that in the future, she send a message when Lily misbehaved so that my husband and I could address it at home.
We established a system where Ms. Brown would inform me of any misbehavior, allowing us to address it as a family. As a result, Lily quickly learned the importance of behaving in school if she wanted to keep her privileges at home. I believed this arrangement was effective, but when I recounted the experience to other educators, they gasped in disbelief, suggesting I escalate the matter to the principal.
I hesitated to do so, recalling my previous experience at a daycare when I had confronted a caregiver about improper diaper changing procedures. My intent was to ensure my child’s well-being, but the aftermath led to a stilted relationship with the caregiver, affecting communication and overall care.
In my role as a teacher, I have witnessed the difference in communication with parents who approach me with trust versus those who come with accusations. Supportive parents are often eager to partner in their child’s education, while confrontational ones create barriers. I recall a parent who frequently called to berate me for placing her child in detention, missing the opportunity to understand the underlying issues affecting her son’s focus.
This brings me to my second reason for not escalating the situation: teaching children to navigate disagreements. It is vital for them to learn how to collaborate with authority figures, even when they disagree with rules or disciplinary methods. Yelling at teachers or staff may provide temporary relief but does not resolve underlying issues. Instead, fostering respectful communication is essential.
In the case of Lily’s teacher, I recognized that the real issue was not the inappropriate method of discipline but rather Lily’s behavior in class. Confronting Ms. Brown would not solve the problem; it would disrupt the channel of communication that I had established. My focus was on supporting my child’s growth and ensuring she learned to listen and behave in school.
Ultimately, my decision to approach the situation calmly led to constructive feedback from Ms. Brown, and Lily began to improve her behavior. As parents, it is crucial to allow our children to take responsibility for their actions while also encouraging them to advocate for themselves respectfully.
In summary, it is essential to foster open communication and collaboration between parents and educators to support children’s learning and growth. While it is natural to be protective, navigating these situations with understanding and a focus on problem-solving ultimately benefits the child.
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