As a medical professional, I recognize the complexities of parenting, especially for those who navigate it solo. My partner, an orthopedic surgeon, is often away, leaving me to manage our three children alone. While he does return to create cherished moments through play, like building Lego structures or enjoying our homemade muffins, the reality is that much of the time, it’s just me and the kids.
I take pride in the independence I cultivate while managing our daily excursions. Initially, I invested in a triple stroller, which was quickly deemed impractical. Instead, I focus on equipping my older two with scooters and balance bikes, enabling them to travel to nearby parks while I handle the baby. When tempers flare and chaos ensues, I strap on the baby carrier, despite my youngest weighing nearly 25 pounds, and maneuver the double stroller with the older children.
At times, I find myself relying on the kindness of strangers to assist with doors or navigate steps with that cumbersome stroller. Mornings are often punctuated with the raucous sounds of my boys waking too early: “Mooooooommmmmm!!!! Is it morning yet?!?!” My responsibilities extend to fixing household items, pumping tires, replacing batteries, parallel parking, shoveling snow, taking out the trash, cooking, and cleaning. I often refer to my situation as “solo parenting,” but I recognize that it’s a misnomer.
Despite the time I spend managing my children’s daily needs, I can never truly comprehend the experience of a single mother. Those women face the reality of doing it all without the promise of a partner’s return. They are not merely waiting for a text from a spouse, but rather, they are the sole providers for their families, both emotionally and financially.
We frequent parks for various reasons; yes, to exhaust our energetic little ones, but also for the camaraderie found among fellow mothers. We enroll in parenting classes, join support groups, and create playdates in an effort to connect. The truth is, we all realize that parenting is better with support.
When I find myself overwhelmed—whether pushing that triple stroller, unloading three kids from the minivan, or desperately attempting to engage them on a Saturday morning—I pause. I remember that, eventually, my husband will return home to acknowledge and commend my efforts. He may not always be physically present, but his emotional support is invaluable.
For those truly navigating the journey of single motherhood, it must feel isolating to know that your partner may not only be late but absent entirely. You are solely responsible not just for the care of your children, but also for providing for them. You’re expected to have all the answers, and you never get a day off.
Who do you turn to for relief or to vent your frustrations? Who will reassure you that you’re doing a great job, even in your sweatpants? This is an ode to you, the single mother. If you’ve made it through another day, if your children are clothed, you deserve recognition.
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In conclusion, to all single mothers out there—your resilience and dedication to your children is truly commendable. You are not alone in this journey, and I will gladly meet you at the playground anytime.