13 Things Non-Parents Should Avoid Saying to Parents

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Navigating conversations between parents and non-parents can be challenging. While parents often find themselves on the receiving end of comments they find annoying, non-parents also have their own set of remarks that can be equally frustrating. Here’s a list of statements that non-parents should avoid when engaging with parents, presented in a more structured manner.

1. Dismissive Comments About Parenthood
   Statements like, “I don’t ever want to have kids. Like, ever,” can come off as insensitive. Such remarks imply that parents are living a life of monotony or struggle, which can feel like a personal attack on their choices.
2. Criticism of Cultural References
   When a non-parent says, “What do you mean you haven’t seen that movie yet? It’s been out for three weeks!” it’s important to remember that parents often prioritize their children’s needs over entertainment. Many times, they may not have the luxury to indulge in movies or new music.
3. Lack of Communication
   Comments like, “You never call anymore,” can be frustrating for parents who are juggling the demands of raising children. It can be exhausting to keep track of everything, and parents may genuinely intend to reach out but simply be too tired.
4. Exclusivity in Social Events
   When non-parents host adult-only gatherings, it can feel isolating. Parents often want to participate in casual events like barbecues, and comments suggesting their children aren’t welcome can be disheartening.
5. Comparing Pets to Children
   Saying, “We’re getting a puppy first to see if we’re cut out for parenting,” trivializes the parenting experience. While both require care, the responsibilities and emotional investment in raising a child are vastly different from those of raising a pet.
6. Judgments on Parenting Style
   Comments such as, “You’re not going to start wearing ‘mom jeans’ now, are you?” can imply that parenthood changes one’s identity in a negative way. Parents still retain their individuality and should not feel pressured to conform to any stereotype.
7. Misconceptions About Parenting Relaxation
   When someone states, “It must be so relaxing to be home all day with the kids,” it overlooks the chaos and challenges involved in parenting. The reality can be far from tranquil, often resembling a continuous cycle of activities and responsibilities.
8. Pressure to Be Social
   Remarks like, “Don’t be so boring! You’re kid-free tonight!” ignore the reality that parents often face consequences for stepping too far outside their routine, including the near-immediate return to parenting duties the next day.
9. Criticism of Child Behavior
   Statements such as, “That kid is OUT OF CONTROL!” can feel unfair. All children have their moments, and it’s crucial to remember that parents are managing not only their own kids but also navigating the complexities of childhood development.
10. Expectations on Timeliness
    When a non-parent says, “Try to be here on time,” it may seem trivial but overlooks the significant effort it takes to prepare for outings with children. The logistics involved in getting kids ready can be a monumental task.
11. Invitations and Responses
    Comments like, “I didn’t invite you because you never say yes,” can be discouraging. Parents appreciate being included and may genuinely want to join social activities when circumstances allow.
12. Concerns About Appearance
    Saying, “You look tired. Are you feeling OK?” can come across as judgmental. Parents often wear exhaustion as a badge of honor, but it’s not always welcome scrutiny.
13. Assumptions About Parenting
    Statements like, “When I have kids, I’m going to ____,” can be irritating. Parenting is nuanced and complex, and it’s impossible to predict how one will react to the challenges until faced with them.

In summary, parents and non-parents can coexist harmoniously by being mindful of each other’s experiences. Acknowledging the realities of parenting can foster mutual understanding and respect. Engaging with resources such as this informative post might be beneficial, along with insights from Make A Mom and Resolve for those interested in the journey of parenthood.