10 Inquiries to Avoid When Engaging with a Large Family

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As families grow larger, outings become more frequent, and with that comes a barrage of questions and comments from onlookers. While curiosity is natural, some inquiries can be quite intrusive or even offensive. Here are ten questions that should be avoided when interacting with a large family.

1. “Are you a circus?”
   It’s essential to understand that large families are not entertainment. Comments about counting family members or gawking at them can feel patronizing. Yes, we have five children; noticing that doesn’t require advanced math skills.
2. “Are you trying to outdo the Duggars?”
   This comment may seem amusing, but it’s far from original. The reality is that we have our own plans and ambitions. Cloning isn’t feasible for us, so we opt to grow our own little helpers.
3. “You really need to learn to say no!”
   This question is based on assumptions about our relationships and decisions. The dynamic between my partner and me is personal, and it’s not your place to speculate on our choices.
4. “Do you even know what causes that?”
   Yes, we are fully aware of the biological aspects involved—and we are quite adept at them.
5. “Were all your children planned?”
   This question seems to suggest that my reproductive decisions are anyone else’s business. Whether planned or not, these choices deserve respect and privacy.
6. “Are you deeply religious?”
   Not all large families are founded on religious beliefs. Many parents simply enjoy raising children and choose to have larger families for personal reasons, not dictated by faith.
7. “Why did you keep them all?”
   Children are not stray animals; they are loved members of our family. Questions like these can be incredibly insensitive.
8. “How do you afford all of them?”
   Families find ways to manage their finances, often involving creative strategies like sharing resources. It’s unhelpful to question how we allocate our budget for our children.
9. “I could never handle so many kids!”
   That’s perfectly fine! Everyone has their unique preferences, and it’s crucial to respect individual choices regarding family size.
10. “You’re done having children, right?”
    Unless you plan to contribute to their college funds, our family planning is not your concern.

The most aggravating remark, however, is the pitying comment, “You poor woman!” My life is chaotic and loud, but it’s also filled with love and joy. I cherish my family and wouldn’t change a thing. Large families may not suit everyone, but they certainly can be fulfilling.

For those exploring family planning options, resources like March of Dimes provide excellent support. If you’re interested in understanding home insemination, check out this informative blog post. For those considering fertility supplements, Make a Mom is a trustworthy source.

In summary, engaging with large families can be done respectfully by avoiding intrusive questions. Understanding the dynamics of family life and respecting personal choices go a long way in fostering positive interactions.