7 Murphy’s Laws When Your Child is Home Sick

  1. Germ Distribution is Inevitable
    When your child comes home sick, expect a rapid spread of germs throughout the household. No amount of quarantine will keep your other children, partner, or even pets safe. It’s only a matter of time before everyone is under the weather.
  2. Your Illness is Preordained
    As soon as the rest of the family begins to recover, you can count on catching the illness yourself. Unfortunately, your responsibilities will not pause for your sickness. You’ll continue to care for your family, cooking, cleaning, and entertaining, despite how unwell you may feel. After all, it seems that moms never truly get to be sick.
  3. Timing is Everything
    Your child is guaranteed to fall ill at the most inconvenient times. Whether you’re at the salon, in a crucial meeting, or just trying to enjoy a moment of peace, the school will inevitably call with news of your child’s latest mishap. Rest assured, your child will never fall ill while you’re lounging in your pajamas.
  4. Judgment Calls Go Wrong
    When faced with the decision to send your child to school or keep them home, expect to make the wrong choice. Your child may appear to be gravely ill at first, only to spring back to life shortly after, leaving you questioning your judgment.
  5. Medication Resistance is Real
    The notion that some children take their medicine without fuss is as mythical as unicorns. Most kids will put up a fierce fight, leaving you struggling to administer even the simplest doses. Even if you manage to succeed, you can expect them to spit it out moments later, leaving you frustrated and sticky.
  6. Doctor Visits Often Yield Little
    More often than not, a trip to the pediatrician results in a diagnosis of a common virus, leaving you with minimal guidance beyond keeping your child hydrated. This conclusion usually comes after spending hours in a waiting room filled with other sick kids, further testing your patience and resolve.
  7. You’ll Keep Coming Back
    Despite the futility of many doctor visits, the urge to ensure your child is receiving care will compel you to go again and again. You’ll coddle your little one while trying to avoid the illness you likely picked up during your last visit.

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In summary, navigating the challenges of a child being home sick often feels like a series of unfortunate events. From the inevitable spread of germs to the frustration of medication resistance and the repetitive cycle of doctor visits, it’s essential to maintain perspective. The chaos may be overwhelming, but resources like this blog and this guide can help you manage during these trying times. Additionally, for those considering self-insemination, check out Cryobaby’s home insemination kit for expert advice on the process.