Understanding the Approach of Allowing Your Baby to Cry

home insemination Kit

By: Emily Johnson
Updated: Feb. 12, 2021
Originally Published: Aug. 14, 2014

As a parent, I have made the difficult decision to allow my baby to cry. I don’t shy away from the terminology; it’s not just “Sleep Training” or “CIO” (cry it out). I firmly believe that letting my baby cry was essential for her to learn how to self-soothe and fall asleep independently. While the experience was emotionally challenging, it proved to be crucial for both her development and our family’s well-being.

There was a particularly challenging night in December, when my husband was away for work and my mother came over to support me in caring for my exhausted child. It had been a month filled with the notorious 4-month sleep regression, a time that left me feeling overwhelmed and desperate for help.

My baby, Lily, struggled to sleep. On average, it took two hours each night to get her to doze off. She would often fall asleep while nursing, but upon being placed in her crib, she would wake up immediately, forcing me to restart the process. Even when I did manage to get her to sleep, she would wake every hour to hour and a half throughout the night. This relentless cycle was exhausting.

Recognizing that both of us needed rest, I decided it was time to teach my baby how to fall asleep on her own. I likened this to taking her for vaccinations; it would be painful for both of us, but ultimately necessary for her well-being. That first night, Lily cried for 25 minutes while I stood helplessly in the shower, consumed by guilt. My mother reassured me that she was safe, clean, and not hungry, yet all I could focus on was the fact that she wanted me, and I wasn’t there to comfort her. My heart shattered as I listened to her cries.

Finally, just when I thought I couldn’t endure another moment, Lily fell asleep. However, instead of relief, I felt overwhelming guilt, fearing that this experience would irreparably damage our bond. The next morning, when Lily woke, I rushed to her crib, ready to apologize profusely. To my astonishment, she greeted me with a smile. How could she be happy after the previous night? Yet, there she was, well-rested and content.

As the nights progressed, the crying diminished significantly. The anticipation of that first night’s anguish motivated me through subsequent nights. Though still difficult, each morning I was greeted by a smiling Lily, which reassured me that we were on the right path.

Though we still encounter challenging nights, Lily has become a much better sleeper and is overall a happier baby. My decision to let her cry was not made lightly, and here are five reasons why I chose this path:

1. We Needed Sleep: It’s no secret that sleep deprivation can take a toll on both parents and babies. It’s easy to prioritize the baby’s needs over your own, but both require quality sleep for optimal well-being.
2. Co-Sleeping Wasn’t Effective: I attempted co-sleeping as a last resort, hoping it would help Lily sleep better. Unfortunately, it only led to her being more awake and playful.
3. Nurturing My Relationship: Having a baby can change the dynamics of a marriage, transforming partners into cohabitants. Restoring our marital connection required efforts beyond tending to the baby’s needs.
4. Self-Care Matters: While I cherish my time with Lily, I also need moments to recharge. Knowing she could sleep peacefully allowed me to enjoy my own time, whether it be relaxing with a glass of wine or catching up on a favorite show.
5. It Worked for Us: I recognize that the decision to let my baby cry is a contentious one. Some may view it as harsh, while others understand its necessity. For us, it was the right choice because Lily was ready for it.

As new parents, we often face conflicting advice regarding baby sleep habits. Listening to my instincts and tuning into my baby’s needs ultimately guided my decision-making process. For further insights into home insemination, visit this article. Also, check out Make a Mom for expert advice on the topic. The CDC provides excellent resources for understanding pregnancy and home insemination.

In summary, allowing my baby to cry was a tough choice but ultimately led to improved sleep for both of us. Listening to my instincts and prioritizing our needs was essential in making this decision.