Glitter is the Devil (And Other Lessons Learned by Mothers of Daughters)

When my doctor joyfully announced that a third daughter would be joining our family, I was genuinely thrilled. Growing up with two sisters, I was eager for my three daughters to experience the same emotional adventures and melodramatic antics that come with sisterhood. Plus, we already had an abundance of girl-related items, which was a logistical win for me. We had even picked out a name for our imaginary son, Jason, who would have looked adorable in a pink dress from Lilly Pulitzer.

But let’s set aside our fictional son for now and delve into what I’ve learned about raising little girls:

1. Girls Can Be Just as Gross as Boys

Contrary to popular belief, girls can be just as messy and loud as their male counterparts. While my nephews are known for their boisterous bodily functions—farts, burps, and all things messy—it’s truly shocking when my daughter, adorned with ribbons in her hair, lets loose a seven-second fart at the dinner table. My eldest has even mastered farting on command, leading to some rather embarrassing moments. Trust me, I’m not rushing to witness my 3-year-old parading out of the bathroom, bloomers around her ankles, yelling about her “monster turd.” I prefer to maintain some mystery in our home.

2. Dressing Three Girls is a Riddle

Dressing my daughters daily feels like solving a riddle where the answer changes every minute. I’ve stopped offering input on their outfit choices, simply ensuring they are covered and smell decent. My mantra has become, “You picked this cute dress; now wear it!” But inevitably, they will change outfits multiple times before breakfast and often again before bed. We are perpetually late.

3. Glitter is a Menace

Treat glitter with the same caution as a hazardous virus. It may seem harmless when you bring home a sparkly headband, but it quickly spreads, transforming your home into a glittery disaster zone. You will find it in places you didn’t know existed. Any item featuring glitter should be discarded immediately—trust me on this.

4. Hair Care is a Battle

Managing hair can feel like an uphill battle. It’s a challenge to remember to take my calming medication before untangling my daughters’ hair post-bath. I once attempted a simple French braid, only to find my daughter screaming in terror as I struggled. I quickly learned that intricate styles are best left to professionals.

5. Body Image Matters

The pressure of instilling a positive body image in my daughters weighs heavily on me. Recently, my daughter asked if her outfit would make her beautiful to others. I couldn’t find a response that didn’t make me a hypocrite, so I told her that true affection comes from actions, not appearances. I emphasized the importance of kindness and hard work—a gentle reminder of what truly matters.

6. Emotional Warfare

Boys may fight with fists, but girls engage in a more subtle emotional battle. I remember an argument with my sister that escalated quickly. While boys may punch each other and move on, girls can hold grudges and retaliate in imaginative ways, teaching me the depth of female complexity.

7. Too Much Fancy

One evening, after dinner, my daughters decided to put on a “dance show.” They emerged dressed in every sequined item they could find, complete with lip gloss smeared across their faces. I was taken aback, not prepared for their exuberance. While I might have unintentionally influenced their performance, it was a shocking reminder of how quickly they can transform into little divas.

8. Embracing the Joy

Despite the challenges, engaging in girly activities is immensely enjoyable. From nails and facials to dance recitals and fairy houses, it’s a world filled with fun. While boys can certainly participate in these activities, there’s a unique charm in the experiences shared with my daughters. I’m aware that soon enough, they will prefer their friends over me, but for now, I cherish our time together.

As we navigate the ups and downs of parenting, it’s vital to maintain a sense of humor and embrace the chaos. For more insights into family and parenting, consider checking out this blog post as well as resources like this one from NICHD which can provide valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination. Additionally, Make a Mom offers excellent products for those interested in family planning.

Summary

Raising daughters is a unique blend of joy and chaos, filled with lessons about bodily functions, emotional battles, and the challenges of daily life. The experience is enriched with laughter, love, and the occasional glitter disaster. Each day presents new revelations about the complexities of femininity and the joys of parenthood.