My Child with HIV: Navigating Friendships and Stigma

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Imagine your child playing alongside mine, completely unaware that she is living with HIV. She has shared laughter with your child at a local preschool, splashed in the pool during swim lessons, and joined in gymnastics classes. As a parent of an HIV-positive child, I am legally protected from disclosing her status to schools, camps, and parents, except for necessary medical professionals.

The stigma surrounding HIV is profound, and many have fought bravely for the right to keep this information private. Our adoption social worker once advised us, “Keep this to yourselves. There’s so much ignorance out there. Your child already stands out in the community; do you want to give others another reason to reject her?”

This year, in kindergarten, my daughter, Lily, attempted to explain her condition to a friend. “Emily, guess what? I have a dragon in my blood. I was born with it, and my mommy in China had it too. When I take my medicine, the dragon stays asleep.” Unfortunately, her friends, including Emily, didn’t comprehend her words; one even exclaimed, “I was born in China, and I have a dragon too!” I reassured Lily that their responses stemmed from a lack of understanding.

You may wonder why I don’t need to inform daycares, schools, or religious institutions about Lily’s HIV status. The truth is that HIV transmission has never occurred in these environments. Thanks to modern antiretroviral medications, the virus is rendered inactive. Every four months, Lily undergoes blood tests, consistently showing no trace of the virus. She is healthy, joyful, and full of life. I care for her scraped knees, clean her bloody noses, and share food and affection—all without any risk of transmission.

It’s essential to understand that Lily was simply born with this condition. Had her birth mother received access to effective antiretroviral treatment during her pregnancy, there’s a strong possibility that Lily would be HIV-negative today. Moreover, these life-saving medications are provided free of charge in China, yet many HIV-positive individuals there refrain from taking them due to the fear of social rejection.

In the future, Lily may date your son or choose to have children of her own, possibly HIV-negative. I urge my fellow parents to recognize that HIV is not something to fear. Take the time to educate yourselves—look online, consult with your pediatrician, and seek the truth. For more insights, consider checking out this informative resource on pregnancy and home insemination.

In summary, my HIV-positive daughter plays with your child, and neither of you knows her status. This lack of awareness is not only acceptable but necessary. Remember, the real dangers lie in ignorance and stigma, not in the virus itself. For more information, you can also explore this engaging post that discusses important aspects of home insemination kits or visit Make a Mom for authoritative insights on self-insemination.