Experiencing Life with the Circus: A Personal Journey

Updated: January 22, 2017

Originally Published: December 5, 2014

Imagine being an official partner (OP) in a traveling circus. My boyfriend, Leo, was a dedicated actor with remarkable talent. He possessed an elongated physique and a flair for the dramatic that made his performances captivating, despite his Kansan roots. With training from renowned mentors and an impressive educational background, Leo’s storytelling relied less on his emotions and more on his physicality. This made him an ideal candidate for the circus, where the art of movement is paramount. However, his seriousness often overshadowed his charm, leading to moments of tension as he expressed his opinions with fervor, commanding attention in any discussion.

As the OP, my role was to embrace the freedom to explore. We would tour through six cities, including Amsterdam, Barcelona, Vienna, Brussels, Madrid, and London, spending about eight weeks in each location. During our breaks between performances, we had the liberty to travel wherever our hearts desired. Below are my reflections from each city during my year with the circus.

Amsterdam

My journey began in Amsterdam, where I settled into room 518 at the Renaissance Hotel. Leo had been there a month prior, and although he promised to set up the internet and a phone card to ease my transition, nothing was done. Jet-lagged and overwhelmed, I found myself in tears, wondering if I was ready for this adventure. The bed was an uncomfortable illusion of a double, and I napped until Leo returned from rehearsal.

Arriving at the circus venue, I was unprepared for the sight of Leo in his vibrant costume—black and red tights, gloves, a flowing cape, and a jester’s cap. Amid the chaos of performers, I learned about their unique quirks, including a young acrobat whose eyes had an unusual appearance from spinning on the Chinese poles. The family performing the Adagio Trio had their own serious undertones, and I quickly became fascinated by a charming wire walker named Sam, who was ironically playing the role of a child.

After a week full of awkward introductions and some bizarre parties, I began to realize that the performers were not the creative artists I had envisioned but rather a group reminiscent of jocks who thrived on nightlife and club culture. Despite my preconceived notions, I found myself enjoying their company.

Barcelona

Following a week off in Menorca, we arrived in Barcelona, a city bursting with life and creativity. I felt lonely with Leo performing ten shows a week, but the vibrant atmosphere slowly drew me in. I discovered joy in small victories: our hotel room could be transformed into a cozy space with just a few decorations, and I had a newfound love for Antoni Tàpies’ art.

However, tensions arose in the circus as performers navigated their competitive dynamics. Leo was frustrated with an unseen saboteur untying his shoe during performances, which turned out to be a young acrobat named Max. As Leo’s emotional distance grew, I began to question our relationship, even though I loved the European experience.

Vienna

After a short break in Portugal, Leo and I traveled to Vienna, where we embraced the city’s rich history and culture. However, the high prices left me feeling constrained, and I found solace in the backstage camaraderie with Sam, who shared my concerns about Leo. The circus atmosphere was chaotic yet comforting; everyone had their rhythm, and I found myself adapting.

Brussels

My time in Brussels was unexpectedly delightful. The city was alive with culture, music, and art, and I felt a sense of belonging among its diverse residents. Leo and I ventured to Antwerp, discovering quaint shops and local treasures. However, whispers of Leo’s pretentiousness echoed around the circus, heightening my internal conflict about our relationship.

Throughout this journey, I learned that home can be found in unexpected places, and personal growth often arises from challenging circumstances. The experience taught me about the intricacies of relationships, the importance of self-discovery, and the vibrant tapestry of life within the circus.

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Summary

My year with the circus was filled with unexpected lessons about relationships, cultural exploration, and personal growth. Despite the challenges and the emotional distance from Leo, I discovered a love for the vibrancy of European cities and the unique dynamics of circus life. This journey highlighted the importance of self-discovery and the connections we forge along the way.