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Dear Overwhelmed Mother in the Thick of It
Hello, Exhausted Mom,
I understand your struggle. You are fatigued. Fatigued from the endless routine. Fatigued from your personal version of an unending loop. Fatigued by the car seats, the toddler cups, the diapers, the crayon marks on the walls, the emotional outbursts, the relentless episodes of that show you can’t stand, and the messes that never seem to stop. And now, as winter approaches, there are the hats, boots, mittens, and oh, those troublesome gloves.
You’re weary of having your patience stretched thin. Of carefully crafting every single response that escapes your lips. You are drained by the lack of personal space—or rather, the complete absence of it. While your love for your children is immeasurable, you sometimes grapple with guilt. You wouldn’t exchange your little ones or the experience of motherhood for anything, yet there are days you fantasize about simply walking out the front door and not looking back. You crave a tranquil place, a space where you can connect with an adult who shares your interests, rather than one who relies on you.
You anticipated the exhaustion but were unprepared for the isolation. There are moments when the weight feels unbearable. Times you contemplate surrendering. When you feel like a failure for raising your voice, shedding tears, or merely wishing to escape. Remember, you’re not alone in this. You are human. The journey of motherhood is incredibly challenging, but you will persevere. One day, unexpectedly, the moment you’ve been dreaming of will arrive.
I experienced a moment like that just yesterday. I have been rocking my little one, Lily, to sleep for her naps since she was born. While she doesn’t really need it anymore, she enjoys it—and so do I. In fact, I likely cherish it more than she does. As the youngest, she’s the last child I’ll have the privilege to rock. But yesterday, as I settled into the chair, she looked up and declared, “I don’t want to rock anymore,” before climbing into her bed. Just like that. In an instant, she was ready to move on.
Suddenly, the thoughts of uninterrupted showers, tidy kitchen surfaces, and a clean home that lasts longer than a few moments didn’t seem so appealing. All I could think about were cozy blankets, footed pajamas, and little thumb-sucking moments.
There is an end to this phase. You will reach the other side, and it may come sooner than you expect. So whatever stage you find yourself in right now, cherish a moment. Whether it’s rocking in a chair, breastfeeding, reading a bedtime story, or simply snuggling, be fully present in that experience. These moments are fleeting.
It may seem like the challenging phases of motherhood will never end, but they will. Unfortunately, along with the difficult times, the moments of joy will also fade away.
If you’re interested in exploring more about the journey of motherhood and related topics, check out this blog post. For those seeking additional information on enhancing fertility, makeamom.com offers valuable insights. Additionally, the Genetics and IVF Institute is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Motherhood can be exhausting and isolating, filled with repetitive tasks and the constant demand for your attention. It’s essential to recognize both the challenging and joyful moments and to appreciate them as they come, as they are fleeting. Cherish the small experiences with your children while also acknowledging the reality of loneliness and fatigue that often accompany parenting.