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The Struggles of Engaging in Play with Children: A Candid Reflection
Six simple words that can send a shiver down your spine: “Mom, will you play with me?”
This phrase can feel overwhelming, especially for parents navigating the complexities of daily life. My daughter, Lily, just turned four and recently began kindergarten, leading to an influx of half-days at home. After picking her up one day, we had a few hours to fill before the school run again. Following a quick lunch, Lily looked up at me with her big, hopeful eyes and asked those fateful six words.
I understand that some may judge me and label me a negligent parent, but I must express my discomfort with structured playtime. I can happily spend hours dressing and undressing dolls or immersing myself in a captivating book. Building with Legos or rolling dice in a board game brings me joy. However, when it comes to “playing,” I struggle to find the enjoyment.
“Pretend we are at the zoo, and I’m a lion,” Lily instructed. “Okay, Mom?”
“Alright,” I replied.
“You have to say, ‘Here comes the lion,’” she explained.
“Here comes the lion,” I said, trying to sound enthusiastic.
“No, Mom, you’re not ready yet,” she corrected me, dashing off to gather props. “Now I’m ready!”
“Here comes the lion!” I called. Out she pranced, but quickly retreated to the playroom.
Next, she declared, “Now pretend I’m a princess, and this is my castle.”
“Okay,” I said.
“You have to say, ‘Here comes the princess,’” she insisted, clearly in charge.
As I repeated her lines, I started to notice a pattern. Playing with Lily often meant her directing a performance while I followed her script. I found myself coming up with various excuses to escape this type of interaction: I needed to check my email, make a coffee, or even use the restroom. The worst one was “Let’s watch TV instead.”
I recognize that these moments are fleeting. Sooner than I realize, Lily will grow too old to invite me into her imaginative worlds. I will likely feel remorse for not engaging with her more during these formative years. However, I do find joy in the “shows” she creates, where she dances and sings, allowing me to be a supportive audience. My role is clear, and I appreciate that. I know I will miss those performances when she no longer seeks the spotlight.
Yet, imaginative play, where I’m merely an observer with no creative input, can be frustrating. Being directed by a four-year-old can test one’s patience. Thus, I continue to brace myself for those six daunting words, “Mom, will you play with me?”
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Summary
Engaging in imaginative play with young children can be challenging for many parents. It often involves following a script set by the child, which can lead to frustration. Despite the difficulties, it’s important to cherish these moments, as they are fleeting. Balancing the need for creative engagement with personal comfort is a common struggle among parents.