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Sweetheart, We Don’t Touch Our Bodies at the Dinner Table
So, there I was, enjoying a family dinner when I caught my daughter’s hand wandering under her dress. “We don’t touch our bodies at the table,” I gently reminded her. She nodded, dashed off to wash her hands, and returned to her meal.
Little kids are curious and they explore themselves quite a bit. They don’t have any shame or fear about their bodies; they just see them as fascinating entities. To them, it’s all just a part of life’s wonders.
The first time I saw one of my kids exploring, I was taken aback. I didn’t want to freak out with a loud “No!” because that wouldn’t teach her anything positive. I pondered it for a couple of days, and when the moment came again, I calmly stated, “Sweetie, we don’t touch our bodies in the living room.” It felt a bit silly but it was the truth.
I explained that while it’s completely fine to be curious, certain behaviors are best kept private. “You can touch your body, but it’s a private matter, so please go to your bedroom or the bathroom.” She understood and complied without hesitation—kids are great at compartmentalizing where they can do what.
Our family mantra became: “We don’t eat in the bathroom, and we don’t touch our bodies in the living room.” Over time, it morphed to “We don’t touch our bodies at the table.”
I consider myself a “sex-positive” parent, which doesn’t mean I’m discussing the joys of intimacy with my little ones. It simply means I’m honest about bodies and their functions.
As parents, we often tell little white lies—about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, or how long we’ll be gone. But one thing I refuse to do is lie about sex. I want my kids to grow up feeling confident in their bodies, not ashamed or confused. I don’t tell them fairy tales about where babies come from; instead, we have open discussions about reproduction. We read books like Where Did I Come From? and What Makes A Baby, which cover the topic thoroughly.
We can discuss everything from IVF to C-sections, and yes, how Mom and Dad still have a relationship beyond just parenting. It’s all part of their story.
Lying to children about sex doesn’t help them—it only leads to misconceptions. Teaching them that sex is “only for mommies and daddies” or “only for those who love each other” can confuse them as teenagers. They might equate love with physical intimacy, which can lead to misunderstandings about relationships and consent.
The reality is that most people enjoy sex; it’s a natural part of being human. It’s supposed to feel good, and while it can be a beautiful thing, it also comes with responsibilities. I want my kids to know that sex is about mutual desire and consent. They should understand that it’s perfectly okay to have feelings, but they also need to know how to set boundaries and use protection.
We talk about everything—what it means to consent, the importance of safety, and the potential consequences of sexual activity. I teach them that their bodies are theirs to control, and that nobody should touch them without permission.
Of course, there will be tougher conversations ahead regarding consent, healthy relationships, and even the realities of social pressures around sex. But I’m ready. I’ve laid the groundwork.
The mantra “We don’t touch our bodies at the table” is a tiny but crucial lesson about safety, consent, and social norms. When the time comes for deeper discussions about sex, I’ll be able to frame it in a way that aligns with the values we’ve built together.
So, yes, when the moment arises, I’ll be there to ensure they know they’re not alone. They can always count on me to support them, no matter what choices they make—good or bad.
If you want to read more about how to navigate these topics, check out this helpful post, and for a reliable resource on fertility, visit this expert site.