The Toddler Club Guidelines

Ah, the Toddler Club—where the rules are as chaotic as the members. Here’s the lowdown on the unspoken regulations of this exclusive group.

First rule of Toddler Club: No one talks about Toddler Club.
Second rule of Toddler Club: Seriously, don’t talk about Toddler Club.
Third rule: Throw a fit about bath time. Once you’re in, immediately protest leaving.
Fourth rule: If someone asks you something, the answer is always “no”—unless it’s about treats, then it’s a resounding yes!
Fifth rule: Bedtime? Not a chance. Ask a million questions. Need water? Check. Gotta go potty? Of course. Want a story? Yes, please! Just never actually get into bed.
Sixth rule: If your little sibling starts crying, amplify the noise to maximum volume for full household chaos.
Seventh rule: If pasta is served, request pizza. If pizza is delivered, suddenly crave pasta again.
Eighth rule: Never put on clothes upon first request. Who do they think you are?
Ninth rule: Dinner? Breakfast! Breakfast? Dinner! Don’t let anyone fool you.
Tenth rule: If Mom says no, go to Dad. If Dad says no, tell Mom he said Dad said yes. Classic move.
Eleventh rule: When eating, remember: your clothes are hungry too. So don’t stress about getting food in your mouth.
Twelfth rule: Anything with a crust? You can’t trust it. Rinds are definitely not your friends.

In each other we trust,
Toddler Management

P.S. If you want to dive deeper into parenting craziness, check out this post on pregnancy and toddlerhood. Also, for those curious about fertility, Make a Mom has some great insights. And if you’re looking for more info on IUI, Resolve is an excellent resource!

In summary, the rules of Toddler Club are all about chaos, confusion, and a healthy dose of defiance. Embrace the madness, because that’s what makes this stage unforgettable!

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