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Glitter is a Nightmare (And Other Lessons for Moms of Daughters)
Contrary to what you might expect, I was overjoyed when my doctor revealed that a third daughter would be joining our family. Growing up with two sisters, I couldn’t wait for my three little girls to embrace the same wild and unpredictable ride of sisterhood. Plus, we were already stocked up on all the girl gear, which suited my obsession with household efficiency just fine. Our hypothetical boy name was going to be Jasper, and I envisioned him looking adorable in a dainty pink dress from Lilly Pulitzer when we brought him home.
But let’s set aside our make-believe son Jasper for a moment. Here’s what I’ve learned about raising girls:
- Girls Can Be Just as Gross as Boys: When I hang out with my nephews, I’m surrounded by all sorts of bodily functions—farts, burps, and the occasional spontaneous bathroom adventure. It’s expected. But when my little girl, adorned with ribbons in her hair, lets out a seven-second fart at the dinner table, it’s a whole different ballgame. My oldest has even mastered farting on command, leading to some rather embarrassing moments.
- Choosing Outfits is Like Solving a Riddle: Dressing three little girls each day feels like trying to answer a riddle with a new twist every minute. I’ve given up on providing outfit suggestions; my goal is simply to ensure everyone is dressed and doesn’t smell like a bathroom. I’ve learned that the dress they loved in the store can become the itchiest fabric known to mankind in a matter of minutes, leading to constant wardrobe changes—often multiple times a day. We are never on time. Ever.
- Glitter is Pure Evil: Glitter should be treated like a contagious disease. Once it enters your home, it multiplies until it’s everywhere. A seemingly innocent headband can turn into a bedazzled disaster all over your face during a meeting. If anything sparkly enters your space, get rid of it immediately. No exceptions.
- Hair is a Minefield: Managing my daughters’ hair is a daunting task. I had just gotten the hang of ponytails when a friend introduced me to intricate hairstyles that I can’t seem to master. After a painful attempt at a French braid that resulted in tears—and me almost pulling my own hair out in frustration—I realized that simple styles would have to suffice.
- Body Image is a Heavy Burden: Recently, my daughter asked if her dress would make her beautiful enough for her friends. I was caught off guard, having just dodged other image-related questions. I told her the truth: People love you for your kindness and actions, not for what you wear. But still, the pressure is real.
- Emotions are a Weapon: Boys might punch each other when they’re upset, but girls have a more subtle approach. Growing up, my sister and I got into epic battles that often ended in clever, underhanded tactics. The emotional games continue in my house, and it’s all too clear that girls have a unique way of expressing their feelings.
- They’re All About the Glam: One evening, my daughters decided they wanted to put on a “dance show.” They descended from their room in every shiny piece of clothing they could find, looking like a parade gone wrong. I was left speechless, wondering where they learned such moves.
- It’s Incredibly Fun: Embracing girly moments is an absolute joy. From nail painting to dance recitals, it’s all delightful. You might think boys can join in on this fun too—and you’re right! I encourage everyone to have fun with imaginative play. However, I know the day will come when my girls would rather not be seen with me.
As I look ahead, I cherish the memories we’re making, knowing that one day they’ll grow up and I’ll be left reminiscing about our adventures—and the laughter we shared over the days of glitter and dance parties.
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Summary
Raising girls is a whirlwind of emotions, wardrobe changes, and unexpected moments of hilarity. From navigating the chaos of body image discussions to embracing the fun of girly activities, the experience is both challenging and rewarding.